Bab: A Sub-Deb
Mary Roberts Rinehart

Part 6 out of 6

pretended to look to see if the crocuses were all gone. But soon he
went into the Garage and was there a half hour.

Now it is one of the rules of this Familey that no house servants
go to the Garage, owing to taking up the Chauffeur's time when he
should be oiling up, etcetera. Also owing to one Butler stealing
the Chauffeur's fur coat and never being seen again.

But alas, what am I to do? For although I reported this being in
the Garage to mother, she but said:

"Don't worry me about him, Bab. He is hopelessly inefficient. But
there are no Men Servants to be had and we'll have to get along."

1 A. M. I have been on watch all evening, but everything is quiet.

I must now go to bed, as the Manual says, page 166:

"Retire early and get a good night's rest."

APRIL 16TH. In camp. Luncheon of sardines, pickels, and eclairs as
no one likes to cook, owing to smoke in the eyes, etcetera.

Camp convened at 12 noon, as we spent the morning helping to get
members of the Other Sex to enlist. We pinned a pink Carnation on each
Enlister, and had to send for more several times. We had quite a Crowd
there and it was very polite except one, who said he would enlist
twice for one kiss. The Officer however took him by the ear and said
the Army did not wish such as he. He then through (threw?) him out.

This morning I warned the new Chauffeur, feeling that if he had by
chance any Milatary Secrets in the Garage he should know about William.

"William!" he said, looking up from where he was in the Repair Pit
at the time. "WILLIAM!"

"I am sorry, Henry," I said, in a quiet voice. "But I fear that
William is not what he apears to be."

"I think you must be mistaken, miss." He then hamered for some
time. When he was through he climbed out and said: "There's to much
Spy talk going on, to my thinking, miss. And anyhow, what would a
Spy be after in this house?"

"Well," I observed, in an indignant manner, for I am sensative and
hate to have my word doubted, "as my father is in a business which
is now War Secrets and nothing else, I can understand, if you can't."

He then turned on the engine and made a terrable noise, to see if
hitting on all cylinders. When he shut it off I told him about
William spending a half hour in the Garage the day before. Although
calm before he now became white with anger and said:

"Just let me catch him sneaking around here, and I'll--what's he
after me for anyhow? I haven't got any Milatary Secrets."

I then sugested that we work together, as I felt sure William was
after my father's blue prints and so on, which were in the Dispach
Case in the safe at night. He said he was not a Spy-catcher, but if
I caught William at any nonsense I might let him know, and if he
put a padlock on the outside of his door and mother saw it and
raised a fuss, I could stand up for him.

I agreed to do so.

10 P. M. Doctor Connor called this evening, to bring Sis a pattern
for a Surgicle Dressing. They spent to hours in the Library looking
at it. Mother is rather upset, as she thinks a Doctor makes a poor
husband, having to be out at night and never able to go to Dinners
owing to baby cases and so on.

She said this to father, but I heard her and observed:

"Mother, is a doctor then to have no Familey life, and only to
bring into the world other people's children?"

She would usualy have replied to me, but she merely sighed, as she
is not like herself, being worried about father.

She beleives that my Father's Life is in danger, as although usualy
making steel, which does not explode and is therfore a safe
business, he is now making shells, and every time it has thundered
this week she has ohserved:

"The mill!"

She refuses to be placated, although knowing that only those known
to the foremen can enter, as well as having a medal with a number
on it, and at night a Password which is new every night.

I know this, because we have this evening made up a list of
Passwords for the next week, using a magazine to get them out of,
and taking advertisements, such as Cocoa, Razers, Suspenders and so
on. Not these actualy but others like them.

We then learned them off by heart and burned the paper, as one
cannot be to carefull with a Spy in the house, even if not credited
as such by my Parents.

Have forgotten the Emblem. Must take it in.

APRIL 17TH. In camp.

Henry brought me out in the big car, as mine has a broken spring
owing to going across the field with it.

He says he has decided to help me, and that I need not watch the
safe, etcetera, at night. I therfore gave him a key to the side
door, and now feel much better. He also said not to have any of the
Corps detailed to watch William in the daytime, as he can do so,
because the Familey is now spending all day at the Red Cross.

He thinks the Password idea fine, as otherwise almost anybody could
steal a medal and get into the mill.

William seems to know that I know something, and this morning,
while opening the door for me, he said:

"I beg pardon, Miss Bab, but I see Henry is driving you today."

"It is not hard to see," I replied, in a hauty manner. It is not
the Butler's business who is driving me, and anyhow I had no
intention of any unecessary conversation with a Spy.

"Your own car being out of order, miss?"

"It is," I retorted. "As you will probably be going to the Garage,
although against orders, while Henry is out, you can see it yourself."

I then went out and sat in front in order to converce with Henry,
as the back is lonely. I looked up at the door and William was
standing there, with a very queer look on his face.

3 P. M. Mr. Schmidt is late and the Corps is practising, having now
got to K.

Luncheon was a great surprize, as at 12:45 a car apeared on the sky
line and was reported by our Sentry as aproaching rapidly.

When it came near it was seen to be driven by Carter Brooks, and to
contain several baskets, etcetera. He then dismounted and saluted
and said:

"The Commiseriat has sent me forward with the day's rations, sir."

"Very good," I returned, in an official manner. "Corps will line up
and count. Odd numbers to unpack and evens to set the table."

This of course was figurative, as we have no table, but eat upon
the ground.

He then carried over the baskets and a freezer of ice cream. He had
brought a fruit salid, cold chicken, potatoe Chips, cake and
ice-cream. It was a delightful Repast, and not soon to be forgotten
by the Corps.

Mademoiselle got out of the Adams's car and came over, although she
had her own lunch as usual. She then had the Chauffeur carry over
a seat cushion, and to see her one would beleive she was always
pleasant. I have no use for those who are only pleasant in the
presence of Food or Strangers.

Carter Brooks sat beside me, and observed:

"You see, Bab, although a Slacker myself, I cannot bear that such
brave spirits as those of the Girls' Aviation Corps should go hungry."

I then gave him a talking-to, saying that he had been a great
disapointment, as I thought one should rise to the Country's Call
and not wait until actualy needed, even when an only son.

He made no defence, but said in a serious tone:

"You see, it's like this. I am not sure of myself, Bab. I don't
want to enlist because others of the Male Sex, as you would say,
are enlisting and I'm ashamed not to. And I don't want to enlist
just to wear a Unaform and get away from business. I don't take it
as lightly as all that."

"Have you no Patriotism?" I demanded. "Can you repeat unmoved the
celabrated lines:

"Lives there a man with Soul so dead,
He (or who) never to himself hath said:
This is my own, my Native Land."

I then choked up, although being Captain I felt that tears were a
femanine weakness and a bad Example.

Mademoiselle had at that moment felt an ant somewhere and was not
looking. Therfore she did not perceive when he reached over and put
his hand on my foot, which happened to be nearest to him. He then
pated my foot, and said:

"What a nice kid you are!"

It is strange, now that he and the baskets, etcetera, have gone
away, that I continue to think about his pating my foot. Because I
have known him for years, and he is nothing to me but a good friend
and not sentamental in any way.

I feel this way. Suppose he enlists and goes away to die for his
Country, as a result of my Speach. Can I endure to think of it? No.
I did not feel this way about Tom Gray, who has gone to Florida to
learn to fly, although at one time thinking the Sun rose and set on
him. It is very queer.

The Sentry reports Mr. Schmidt and the dogs coming over the fense.

EVENING. Doctor Connor is here again. He is taking Sis to a meeting
where he is to make a Speach. I ofered to go along, but they did
not apear to hear me, and perhaps it is as well, for I must watch
William, as Henry is taking them in the car. I am therfore writing
on the stairs, as I can then hear him washing Silver in the pantrey.

Mother has been very sweet to me this evening. I cannot record how
I feel about the change. I used to feel that she loved me when she
had time to do so, but that she had not much time, being busy with
Bridge, Dinners, taking Leila out and Housekeeping, and so on. But
now she has more time. Tonight she said:

"Bab, suppose we have a little talk. I have been thinking all day
what I would do if you were a boy, and took it into that Patriotic
head of yours to enlist. I couldn't bear it, that's all."

I was moved to tears by this afection on the part of my dear
Parent, but I remembered being Captain of the Corps, and so did not
weep. She then said that she would buy us an Emblem for the Camp,
and have a luncheon packed each day. She also ofered me a wrist watch.

I cannot but think what changes War can make, bringing people
together because of worry and danger, and causing gifts, such as
flags and watches, and ofering to come out and see us in a day or so.

It is now 9 P. M. and the mention of the flag has reminded me that
our own Emblem still fluters beneath the Starry Sky.

LATER: William is now in the Garage. I am watching from the window
of the sowing room.

The terrable thought comes--has he a wireless concealed there, by
which he sends out clandestine messages, perhaps to Germany?

This I know. He cannot get into Henry's room, as the padlock is now on.

LATER: He has returned, foiled!

APRIL 18TH. Nothing new. Working hard at signaling. Mr. Schmidt
says I am doing well and if he was an Officer he would give me a job.

APRIL 19TH. Nothing new. But Doctor Connor had told Leila that my
father looks sick or at least not well. When I went to him, being
frightened, as he is my only Male Parent and very dear to me, he
only laughed and said:

"Nonsense! We're rushed at the Mill, that's all. You see, Bab, War
is more than Unaforms and saluting. It is a nasty Business. And of
course, between your forgetting The Emblem until midnight, when I
am in my first sleep, and putting it out at Dawn, I am not getting
all the rest I really need."

He then took my hand and said:

"Bab, you haven't by any chance been in my Dispach Case for
anything, have you?"

"Why? Is something missing?" I said in I startled tone.

"No. But sometimes I think--however, never mind about that. I think
I'll take the Case upstairs and lock my door hereafter, and if the
Emblem is an hour or to late, we will have to stand for it. Eight
o'clock is early enough for any Flag, especialy if it has been out
late the night before."

"Father" I said, in a tence voice. "I have before this warned you,
but you would not listen, considering me imature and not knowing a
Spy when I see one."

I then told him what I knew about William, but he only said:

"Well, the only thing that matters is the Password, and that cannot
be stolen. As for William, I have had his record looked up by the
Police, and it is fine. Now go to bed, and send in the Spy. I want
a Scotch and Soda."

APRIL 20TH. Henry and I have searched the Garage, but there is no
Wireless, unless in a Chimney. Henry says this is often done, by
Spies, who raise a Mast out of the chimney by night.

To night I shall watch the Chimney, as there is an ark light near
it, so that it is as bright as Day.

The cook has given notice, as she and William cannot get along, and as
he can only make to salids and those not cared for by the other servants.

APRIL 27TH. After eight days I am at last alowed this Log or
Journal, being supported with pillows while writing as Doctor
Connor says it will not hurt me.

He has just gone, and I am sure kissed Leila in the hall while
Hannah and the nurse were getting pen, ink, etcetera. Perhaps after
all Romanse has at last come to my beloved sister, who will now get
married. If so, I can come out in November, which is the best time,
as December is busy with Xmas and so on.

How shall I tell the tradgic story of that night? How can I put, by
means of a pen, my Experiences on paper? There are some things
which may not be written, but only felt, and that mostly
afterwards, as during the time one is to excited to feel.

On April 21st, Saturday, I had a bad cold and was not allowed to go
to camp. I therfore slept most of the day, being one to sleep
easily in daytime, except for Hannah coming in to feel if I was feverish.

My father did not come home to dinner, and later on telephoned that
he was not to be looked for until he arived, owing to somthing very
important at the Mill and a night shift going on for the first time.

We ate Dinner without him, and mother was very nervous and kept
saying that with foremen and so on she did not see why father
should have to kill himself.

Ye gods! Had we but realised the Signifacance of that remark! But
we did not, but went to living in a Fool's Paradice, and complaining
because William had put to much vinigar in the French Dressing.

William locked up the house and we retired to our Chambers. But as
I had slept most of the day I could not compose myself to Slumber,
but sat up in my robe de nuit and reflected about Carter Brooks,
and that perhaps it would be better for him not to enlist as there
is plenty to be done here at home, where one is safe from bullets,
machine guns and so on. Because, although not Sentamental about him
or silly in any way, I felt that he should not wish to go into
danger if his mother objected. And after all one must consider
mothers and other Parents.

I put a dressing gown over my ROBE DE NUIT, and having then
remembered about the Wireless, I put out my light and sat in the
window seat. But there was no Mast to be seen, and nothing but the
ark light swinging.

I then saw some one come in the drive and go back to the Garage,
but as Henry has a friend who has been out of work and sleeps with
him, although not told to the Familey, as probably
objecting,--although why I could not see, since he used half of
Henry's bed and therfore cost nothing--I considered that it was he.

It was not, however, as I shall now record in this Log or Journal.

I had perhaps gone to sleep in my place of watching, when I heard
a rapping at my Chamber door. "Only this and nothing more."
Poe--The Raven.

I at once opened the door, and it was the cook. She said that Henry
had returned from the mill with a pain in his ear, and had
telephoned to her by the house 'phone to bring over a hot water
bottle, as father was driving himself home when ready.

She then said that if I would go over with her to the Garage and
drop some laudinum into his ear, she being to nervous, and also
taking my hot water bottle, she would be grateful.

Although not fond of her, owing to her giving notice and also being
very fussy about cake taken from the pantrey, I am one to go always
where needed. I also felt that a member of the Corps should not
shirk Duty, even a Chauffeur's ear. I therfore got my hot water
bottle and some slippers, etcetera, and we went to the Garage.

I went up the stairs to Henry's room, but what was my surprize to
find him not there, but only his friend. I then said:

"Where is Henry?"

The cook was behind me, and she said:

"He is coming. He has to walk around because it aches so."

Then Henry's friend said, in a queer voice:

"Now, Miss Bab, there is nothing to be afraid of, unless you make
a noise. If you do there will be trouble and that at once. We three
are going to have a little talk."

Ye gods! I tremble even to remember his words, for he said:

"What we want is simple enough. We want tonight's Password at the

I dropped the hot water bottle, because there is no use pretending
one is not scared at such a time. One is. But of course I would not
tell them the Password, and the cook said:

"Be careful, Miss Bab. We are not playing. We are in terrable ernest."

She did not sound like a cook at all, and she looked diferent,
being very white and with to red spots on her cheeks.

"So am I," I responded, although with shaking teeth. "And just wait
until the Police hear of this and see what happens. You will all be
arested. If I scream----"

"If you scream," said Henry's friend in an awful voice, "you will
never scream again."

There was now a loud report from below, which the neighbors
afterwards said they heard, but considered gas in a muffler, which
happens often and sounds like a shot. There was then a sort of low growl
and somebody fell with a thump. Then the cook said to Henry's friend:

"Jump out of the window. They've got him!"

But he did not jump, but listened, and we then heard Henry saying:

"Come down here, quick."

Henry's friend then went downstairs very rapidly, and I ran to the
window thinking to jump out. But it was closed and locked, and
anyhow the cook caught me and said, in a hissing manner:

"None of that, you little fool."

I had never been so spoken to, especially by a cook, and it made me
very angry. I then threw the bottle of laudinum at her, and broke
a front tooth, also cutting her lip, although I did not know this
until later, as I then fainted.

When I came to I was on the floor and William, whom I had
considered a Spy, was on the bed with his hands and feet tied.
Henry was standing by the door, with a revolver, and he said:

"I'm sorry, Miss Bab, because you are all right and have helped me
a lot, especially with that on the bed. If it hadn't been for you
our Goose would have been cooked."

He then picked me up and put me in a chair, and looked at his watch.

"Now," he said, "we'll have that Password, because time is going
and there are things to be done, quite a few of them."

I could see William then, and I saw his eyes were partly shut, and
that he had been shot, because of blood, etcetera. I was about to
faint again, as the sight of blood makes me sick at the stomache,
but Henry held a bottle of amonia under my nose and said in a
brutal way:

"Here, none of that."

I then said that I would not tell the Password, although killed for
it, and he said if I kept up that attitude I would be, because they
were desperate and would stop at nothing.

"There is no use being stubborn," he said, "because we are going to
get that Password, and the right one to, because if the wrong one
you, to, will be finished off in short order."

As I was now desperate myself I decided to shriek, happen what may.
But I had merely opened my mouth to when he sprang at me and put
his hand over my mouth. He then said he would be obliged to gag me,
and that when I made up my mind to tell the Password, if I would
nod my Head he would then remove the gag. As I grew pale at these
words he threw up a window, because air prevents fainting.

He then tied a towel around my mouth and lips, putting part of it
between my teeth, and tied it in a hard knot behind. He also tied
my hands behind me, although I kicked as hard as possable, and can
do so very well, owing to skating and so on.

How awfull were my sensations as I thus sat facing Death, and
remembering that I had often been excused from Chapel when not
necesary, and had been confirmed while pretending to know the Creed
while not doing so. Also not always going to Sunday School as I
should, and being inclined to skip my Prayers when very tired.

We sat there for a long time, which seemed Eternities, Henry making
dreadful threats, and holding a revolver. But I would not tell the
Password, and at last he went out, locking the door behind him, to
consult with the other Spies.

I then heard a whisper, and saw that William was not dead. He said:

"Here, quick. I'll unloose your hands and you can drop out the window."

He did so, but just in time, as Henry returned, looking fierce and
saying that I had but fifteen minutes more. I was again in my
chair, and he did not percieve that my hands were now untied.

I must stop here, as my hands tremble to much to hold my trusty pen.

APRIL 28TH. Leila has just been in. She kissed me in a fraternal
manner, and I then saw that she wore an engagement ring. Well, such
is Life. We only get realy acquainted with our Families when they
die, or get married.

Doctor Connor came in a moment later and kissed me to, calling me
his brave little Sister.

How pleasant it is to lie thus, having wine jelatine and squab and
so on, and wearing a wrist watch with twenty-seven diamonds, and
mother using the vibrator on my back to make me sleepy, etcetera.
Also, to know that when one's father returns he will say:

"Well, how is the Patriot today?" and not smile while saying it.

I have recorded in this journal up to where I had got my hands
loose, and Henry was going to shoot me in fifteen minutes.

We have thus come to Mr. Schmidt.

Suddenly Henry swore in an angry manner. This was because my father
had brought the machine home and was but then coming along the
drive. Had he come alone it would have been the end of him and the
Mill, for Henry and his friend would have caught him, and my father
is like me--he would die before giving the Password and blowing up
all the men and so on in the Mill. But he brought the manager with
him, as he lives out of town and there is no train after midnight.

My father said:


So Henry replied:

"Coming, sir" and went out, but again locked the door.

Before he went out he said:

"Now mind, any noise up here and we will finish you and your father

He then went down, and I could hear my dear Parent's voice which I
felt I would probably never hear again, discussing new tires and
Henry's earache, which was not a real one, as I now knew.

I looked at William, but he had his eyes shut and I saw he was now
realy unconscious. I then however heard a waggon in our alley, and
I went to the window. What was my joy to see that it was Mr.
Schmidt's milk waggon which had stopped under the ark light, with
he himself on the seat. He was getting some milk bottles out, and
I suppose he heard the talking in our Garage, for he stopped and
then looked up. Then he dropped a milk bottle, but he stood still
and stared.

With what anguished eyes, dear Log or Journal, did I look down at
him, unable to speak or utter a sound. I then tried to untie the
Towle but could not, owing to feeling weak and sick and the knots
being hard.

I at one moment thought of jumping out, but it was to far for our
Garage was once a Stable and is high. But I knew that if the
Criminals who surounded my Father and the manager heard such a
sound, they would then attack my Father and kill him.

I was but a moment thinking all this, as my mind is one to work
fast when in Danger. Mr. Schmidt was still staring, and the horse
was moving on to the next house, as Mr. Schmidt says it knows all
his Customers and could go out alone if necesary.

It was then that I remembered that, although I could not speak, I could
signal him, although having no flags. I therfore signaled, saying:

"Quiet. Spies. Bring police."

It was as well that he did not wait for the last to letters, as I
could not remember C, being excited and worried at the time. But I
saw him get into his waggon and drive away very fast, which no one
in the Garage noticed, as milk waggons were not objects of suspicion.

How strange it was to sit down again as if I had not moved, as per
orders, and hear my Father whistling as he went to the house. I
began to feel very sick at my Stomache, although glad he was safe,
and wondered what they would do without me. Because I had now seen
that, although insisting that I was still a child, I was as dear to
them as Leila, though in a different way.

I had not cried as yet, but at the thought of Henry's friend and
the others coming up to kill me before Mr. Schmidt could get help,
I shed a few tears.

They all came back as soon as my Father had slamed the house door,
and if they had been feirce before they were awfull then, the cook
with a handkerchief to her mouth, and Henry's friend getting out a
watch and giving me five minutes. He had counted three minutes and
was holding his Revolver to just behind my ear, when I heard the
milk waggon coming back, with the horse galloping.

It stopped in the alley, and the cook said, in a dreadfull voice:

"What's that?"

She dashed to the Window, and looked out, and then turned to the
other Spies and said:

"The Police!"

I do not know what happened next, as I fainted again, having been
under a strain for some time.

I must now stop, as mother has brought the Vibrater.

APRIL 29TH. All the people in my father's Mill have gone together
and brought me a riding horse. I have just been to the window of my
Chamber to look at it. I have always wanted a horse, but I cannot
see that I deserve this one, having but done what any member of the
G. A. C. should do.

As I now have a horse, perhaps the Corps should become Cavalry.
Memo: Take this up with Jane.

LATER: Carter Brooks has just gone, and I have a terrable headache
owing to weeping, which always makes my head ache.

He has gone to the War.

I cannot write more.

10 P. M. I can now think better, although still weeping at
intervals. I must write down all that has happened, as I do not
feel like telling Jane, or indeed anybody.

Always before I have had no Secrets from Jane, even in matters of
the Other Sex. But I feel very strange about this and like thinking
about it rather than putting it into speach.

Also I feel very kind toward everybody, and wish that I had been a
better girl in many ways. I have tried to be good, and have never
smoked cigarettes or been decietful except when forced to be by the
Familey not understanding. But I know I am far from being what
Carter Brooks thinks me to be.

I have called Hannah and given her my old watch, with money to for
a new chrystal. Also stood by at Salute while my father brought in
the Emblem. For William can no longer do it, as he was not really
a Butler at all but a Secret Service Inspector, and also being
still in the Hospital, although improving.

He had not told the Familey, as he was afraid they would not then
treat him as a real Butler. As for the code in the pantrey, it was
really not such, but the silver list, beginning with 48 D. K. or
dinner knives, etcetera. When taking my Father's Dispach Case from
the safe, it was to keep the real Spies from getting it. He did it
every night, and took the important papers out until morning, when
he put them back.

To-night my father brought in the Emblem and folded it. He then said:

"Well, I admit that Fathers are not real Substatutes for young men
in Unaform, but in times of Grief they may be mighty handy to tie
to." He then put his arms around me and said: "You see, Bab, the
real part of War, for a woman--and you are that now, Bab, in spite
of your years--the real thing she has to do is not the fighting
part, although you are about as good a soldier as any I know. The
thing she has to do is to send some one she cares about, and then
sit back and wait."

As he saw that I was agatated, he then kissed me and sugested that
we learn something more than the first verse of the National Hymn,
as he was tired of making his lips move and thus pretending to sing
when not actualy doing so.

I shall now record about Carter Brooks coming today. I was in a
chair with pilows and so on, when Leila came in and kissed me, and
then said:

"Bab, are you able to see a caller?"

I said yes, if not the Police, as I had seen a great many and was
tired of telling about Henry and Henry's friend, etcetera.

"Not the Police," she said.

She then went out in the hall and said:

"Come up. It's all right."

I then saw a Soldier in the door, and could not beleive that it was
Carter Brooks, until he saluted and said:

"Captain, I have come to report. Owing to the end of the Easter
Holadays the Girls' Aviation Corps----"

I could no longer be silent. I cried:

"Oh, Carter!"

So he came into the room and turned round, saying:

"Some soldier, eh?"

Leila had gone out, and all at once I knew that my Patriotism was
not what I had thought it, for I could not bear to see him going to
War, especialy as his mother would be lonly without him.

Although I have never considered myself weak, I now felt that I was
going to cry. I therfore said in a low voice to give me a
Handkercheif, and he gave me one of his.

"Why, look here," he said, in an astounded manner, "you aren't
crying about ME, are you?"

I said from behind his Handkercheif that I was not, except being
sorry for his mother and also for him on account of Leila.

"Leila!" he said. "What about Leila?"

"She is lost to you forever," I replied in a choking tone. "She is
betrothed to another."

He became very angry at that, and observed:

"Look here, Bab. One minute I think you are the cleverest Girl in
the World, and the next--you little stuped, do you still insist on
thinking that I am in love with Leila?"

At that time I began to feel very queer, being week and at the same
time excited and getting red, the more so as he pulled the
Handkercheif from my eyes and commanded me: "Bab, look at me. Do I
LOOK as though I care for Leila?"

I, however, could not look at him just then. Because I felt that I
could not endure to see the Unaform.

"Don't you know why I hang around this House?" he said, in a very
savige manner. "Because if you don't everybody else does."

Dear Log or Journal, I could but think of one thing, which was that
I was not yet out, but still what is called a Sub-Deb, and so he
was probably only joking, or perhaps merely playing with me.

I said so, in a low tone, but he only gave a Groan and said:

"I know you are not out and all the rest of it. Don't I lie awake
at night knowing it? And that's the reason I----" Here he stopped
and said: "Damm it" in a feirce voice. "Very well," he went on. "I
came to say Good-bye, and to ask you if you will write to me now
and then. Because I'm going to War half because the Country needs
me and the other half because I'm not going to disapoint a certain
young Person who has a way of expecting people to be better than
they are."

He then very suddenly stood up and said:

"I guess I'd better go. And don't you dare to cry, because if you
do there will be Trouble."

But I could not help it, as he was going to War for my Native Land,
and might never come back. I therfore asked for his Handkercheif
again, but he did not listen. He only said:

"You are crying, and I warned you."

He then stooped over and put his hand under my Chin and said:

"Good-bye, sweetheart."


He went out at once, slaming the door, and passed Leila in the
lower Hall without speaking to her.

APRIL 30TH. I now intend to close this Log or Journal, and write no
more in it. I am not going back to school, but am to get strong and
well again, and to help mother at the Red Cross. I wish to do this,
as it makes me feel usefull and keeps me from worrying.

After all, I could not realy care for any one who would not rise to
the Country's Call.

MAY 3RD. I have just had a letter from Carter. It is mostly about
blisters on his feet and so on, and is not exactly a love letter.
But he ends with this, which I shall quote, and so end this Dairy:

"After all, Bab, perhaps we all needed this. I know I did.

"I want to ask you something. Do you remember the time you wrote me
that you were BLITED and I sugested that we be blited together. How
about changing that a bit, and being PLITED. Because if I am not
cheered by something of the sort, my Patriotism is going to ooze
out of the blisters on my heels."

I have thought about this all day, and I have no right to ruin his
Career. I beleive that the Army should be encouraged as much as
possible. I have therefore sent him a small drawing, copied from
the Manual, like this

{1" tall figure of a man holding semifore flags -- his right arm is
to the right and his left arm is up}

Which means "Afirmative"


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