Pamela (Vol. II.)
by
Samuel Richardson
Part 10 out of 11
of employments (all thus rendered delightful by their successive
variety), he would hardly wish to pass much time. For the dancing of
itself, with the dancing-master's instruction, if a well-bred man,
will answer both parts, that of breeding and that of exercise: and
thus different studies at once be mastered.
Moreover, the emulation which will be inspired, where there are
several young gentlemen, will be of inconceivable use both to tutor
and pupil, in lessening the trouble of the one, and advancing the
learning of the other, which cannot be expected where there is but a
single youth to be taken care of.
Such a master will know it to be his interest, as well as duty, to
have a watchful eye over the conduct and behaviour of his servants.
His assistants, in the different branches of science and education,
will be persons of approved prudence, for whom he will think himself
answerable, since his own _reputation_, as well as _livelihood_, will
depend upon their behaviour. The youths will have young gentlemen for
their companions, all under the influence of the same precepts and
directions; and if some chosen period were fixed, as a reward for some
excellence, where, at a little desk, raised a step or two above the
other seats, the excelling youth should be set to read, under the
master's direction, a little portion from the best translations of the
Greek and Roman historians, and even from the best English authors;
this might, in a very engaging manner, initiate them into the
knowledge of the history of past times, and of their own country, and
give them a curiosity to pass some of their vacant hours in the same
laudable pursuit: for, dear Sir, I must still insist that rewards, and
innocent gratifications, as also little honours and distinctions, must
needs be very attractive to the minds of youth.
For, is not the pretty ride, and dairy house breakfasting, by which
Miss Goodwin's governess distinguishes the little ladies who excel
in their allotted tasks, a fine encouragement to their ductile
minds?--Yes, it is, to be sure!--And I have often thought of it with
pleasure, and partaken of the delight with which I have supposed their
pretty hearts must be filled with on that occasion. And why may not
such little triumphs be, in proportion, as incentives, to children,
to make them try to master laudable tasks; as the Roman triumphs, of
different kinds, and their mural and civic crowns, all which I have
heard you speak of, were to their heroes and warriors of old? For Mr.
Dryden well observes, that--
"Men are but children of a larger growth;
Our appetites are apt to change as theirs,
And full as craving too, and full as vain."
Permit me. Sir, to transcribe four or five lines more, for the
beauty of the thought:
"And yet the soul, shut up in her dark room,
Viewing so clear abroad, at home sees nothing:
But like a mole in earth, busy and blind,
Works all her folly up, and casts it outward
To the world's open view--"
Improving the thought: methinks I can see the dear little Miss, who
has, in some eminent task, borne away the palm, make her public entry,
as I may call it, after her dairy breakfast and pretty airing, into
the governess's court-yard, through a row of her school-fellows, drawn
out on each side to admire her; her governess and assistants receiving
her at the porch, their little capitol, and lifting her out with
applauses and encomiums, with a _Thus shall it be done to the Miss,
whom her governess delighteth to honour!_ I see not why the dear Miss
in this case, as she moves through her admiring school-fellows, may
not have her little heart beat with as much delight, be as gloriously
elated, proportionably, as that of the greatest hero in his triumphal
car, who has returned from exploits, perhaps, much less laudable.
But how I ramble!--Yet surely, Sir, you don't expect method or
connection from your girl. The education of our sex will not permit
that, where it is best. We are forced to struggle for knowledge, like
the poor feeble infant in the month, who is pinned and fettered down
upon the nurse's lap; and who, if its little arms happen, by chance,
to escape its nurse's observation, and offer but to expand themselves,
are immediately taken into custody, and pinioned down to their passive
behaviour. So, when a poor girl, in spite of her narrow education,
breaks out into notice, her genius is immediately tamed by trifling
employments, lest, perhaps, she should become the envy of one sex, and
the equal of the other. But you. Sir, act more nobly with your Pamela;
for you throw in her way all opportunities of improvement; and she
has only to regret, that she cannot make a better use of them, and, of
consequence, render herself more worthy of your generous indulgence.
I know not how, Sir, to recover my thread; and so must break off with
that delight which I always take when I come near the bottom of my
letters to your dear self; because then I can boast of the honour
which I have in being _your ever dutiful_,
P.B.
LETTER XCIII
Well, but, my dear Mr. B., you will perhaps think, from my last
rambling letter, that I am most inclined to a _school_ education for
your Billy, and some years hence, if it should please God to spare him
to us. Yet I cannot say that I am; I only lay several things together
in my usual indigested way, to take your opinion upon, which, as it
ought, will be always decisive with me. And indeed I am so thoroughly
convinced by Mr. Locke's reasons, where the behaviour of servants
can be so well answered for, as that of yours can be, and where
the example of the parents will be, as I hope, rather edifying
than otherwise, that without being swayed, as I think, by maternal
fondness, in this case, I must needs give a preference to the home
education; and the little scheme I presumed to form in my last, was
only on a supposition, that those necessary points could not be so
well secured.
In my observations on this head, I shall take the liberty, in one
or two particulars, a little to differ from an author, that I admire
exceedingly; and that is the present design of my writing these
letters; for I shall hereafter, if God spare my life, in my little
book (when you have kindly decided upon the points in which I presume
to differ) shew you, Sir, my great reverence and esteem for him; and
can then let you know all my sentiments on this important subject, and
that more undoubtedly, as I shall be more improved by years and your
conversation; especially, Sir, if I have the honour and happiness of
a foreign tour with you, of which you give me hope; so much are you
pleased with the delight I take in these improving excursions, which
you have now favoured me with, at different times, through more than
half the kingdom.
Well then, Sir, I will proceed to consider a little more particularly
the subject of a home education, with an eye to those difficulties,
of which Mr. Locke takes notice, as I mentioned in my last. As to the
first, that of finding a qualified tutor; we must not expect so much
perfection, I doubt, as he lays down as necessary. What, therefore, I
humbly conceive is best to be done, will be to avoid choosing a man
of bigoted and narrow principles; who yet shall not be tainted with
sceptical or heterodox notions, nor a mere scholar or pedant; who has
travelled, and yet preserved his moral character untainted; and whose
behaviour and carriage is easy, unaffected, unformal, and genteel,
as well acquiredly as naturally so, if possible; who shall not be
dogmatical, positive, overbearing, on one hand; nor too yielding,
suppliant, fawning, on the other; who shall study the child's natural
bent, in order to direct his studies to the point he is most likely
to excel in; and to preserve the respect due to his own character from
every one, he must not be a busy body in the family, a whisperer,
a tale-bearer, but of a benevolent turn of mind, ready to compose
differences; who shall avoid, of all things, that foppishness of dress
and appearance, which distinguishes the _petit-maitres_, and French
ushers (that I have seen at some boarding schools), for coxcombs
rather than guides of education: for, as I have heard you, my best
tutor, often observe, the peculiarities of habit, where a person aims
at something fantastic, or out of character, are an undoubted sign of
a wrong head; for such a one is so kind as always to hang out on
his sign what sort of furniture he has in his shop, to save you the
trouble of asking questions about him; so that one may as easily know
by his outward appearance what he _is_, as one can know a widow by her
weeds.
Such a person as I have thus negatively described, may be found
without very much difficulty, perhaps, because some of these
requisites are personal, and others are such as are obvious at first
sight, to a common penetration; or, where not so, may be found out, by
inquiry into his general character and behaviour: and to the care of
such a one, dear Sir, let me suppose your Billy is committed: and so
we acquit ourselves of the first difficulty, as well as we can, that
of the tutor; who, to become more perfect, may form himself, as to
what he wants, by Mr. Locke's excellent rules on that head.
But before I quit this subject, I beg to remind you of your opinion
upon it, in a conversation with Sir George Stuart, and his nephew,
in London; in which you seemed to prefer a Scottish gentleman for a
tutor, to those of your own nation, and still more than to those of
France? Don't you remember it, dear Sir? And how much those gentlemen
were pleased with your facetious freedom with their country, and said,
you made them amends for that, in your preference to their learned and
travelled youth? If you have forgot it, I will here transcribe it from
my _records_, as I call my book of memorandums; for every time I am
pleased with a conversation, and have leisure, before it quits my
memory, I enter it down in as near the very words as I can; and now
you have made me your correspondent, I shall sometimes, perhaps, give
you back some valuables from your own treasure.--Miss Darnford, and
Mr. Turner, and Mr. Fanshaw, were present, I well remember. These were
your words:
"Since the union of the two kingdoms, we have many persons of
condition, who have taken their tutors for their sons from Scotland;
which practice, to speak impartially, has been attended with some
advantageous circumstances, that should not be overlooked. For, Sir
George, it must be confessed that, notwithstanding your narrow and
stiff manner of education in Scotland, a spirit of manly learning, a
kind of poetic liberty, as I may call it, has begun to exert itself
in that part of the island. The blustering north--forgive me,
gentlemen--seems to have hardened the foreheads of her hungry sons;
and the keenness with which they set out for preferment in the
kindlier south, has taught them to know a good deal of the world
betimes. Through the easy terms on which learning is generally
attained there, as it is earlier inculcated, so it may, probably,
take deeper root: and since 'tis hardly possible--forgive me, dear
Sirs--they can go to a worse country on this side Greenland, than some
of the northern parts of Scotland; so their education, with a view to
travel, and to better themselves by settlements in other countries,
may, perhaps, be so many reasons to take greater pains to qualify
themselves for this employment, and may make them succeed better in
it; especially when they have been able to shake off the fetters which
are rivetted upon them under the narrow influence of a too tyrannical
kirk discipline, which you, Sir George, have just now so freely
censured.
"To these considerations, when we add the necessity, which these
remote tutors lie under, of behaving well; first, because they seldom
wish to return to their own country; and next, because _that_ cannot
prefer them, if it would; and thirdly, because it would not, if it
could, if the gentleman be of an enlarged genius, and generous way
of thinking; I say, when we add to the premises these considerations,
they all make a kind of security for their good behaviour: while those
of our own country have often friends or acquaintances on whose favour
they are apt to depend, and for that reason give less attention to the
duties requisite for this important office.
"Besides, as their kind friend AEolus, who is accustomed to spread and
strengthen the bold muscles of the strong-featured Scot, has generally
blown away that inauspicious bashfulness, which hangs a much longer
time, commonly, on the faces of the southern students; such a one (if
he fall not too egregiously into the contrary extreme, so as to become
insufferable) may still be the more eligible person for a tutor, as he
may teach a young gentleman, betimes, that necessary presence of mind,
which those who are confined to a private education sometimes want.
"But, after all, if a gentleman of this nation be chosen for this
employment, it may be necessary that he should be one who has had as
genteel and free an education himself, as his country will afford;
and the native roughness of his climate filed off by travel and
conversation; who has made, at least, the tour of France and Italy,
and has a taste for the politeness of the former nation: but from the
boisterousness of a North Britain, and the fantastic politeness of
a Frenchman, if happily blended, such a mixture may result, as will
furnish out a more complete tutor, than either of the two nations,
singly, may be able to produce. But it ought to be remembered that
this person must have conquered his native brogue, as I may call
it, and be a master of the English pronunciation; otherwise his
conversation will be disagreeable to an English ear.
"And permit me to add, that, as an acquaintance with the Muses
contributes not a little to soften the manners, and give a graceful
and delicate turn to the imagination, and a kind of polish to severer
studies, it would not be amiss that he should have a taste of
poetry, although perhaps it were not to be wished he had such strong
inclinations that way, as to make that lively and delectable amusement
his predominant passion: for we see very few poets, whose warm
imaginations do not run away with their judgments. And yet, in order
to learn the dead languages in their purity, it will be necessary
to inculcate both the love and the study of the ancient poets, which
cannot fail of giving the youth a taste for poetry, in general."
Permit me, dear Sir, to ask you, whether you advanced this for
argument sake, as sometimes you love to amuse and entertain your
friends in an uncommon way? For I should imagine, that our two
universities, which you have shewn me, and for which I have ever since
had a greater reverence than I had before, are capable of furnishing
as good tutors as any nation in the world: for here the young
gentlemen seem to me to live both in the _world_ and in the
_university_; and we saw several gentlemen who had not only fine
parts, but polite behaviour, and deep learning, as you assured me;
some of whom you entertained, and were entertained by, in so elegant
a manner, that no travelled gentleman, if I may be allowed to judge,
could excel them! And besides, my dear Mr. B., I know who is reckoned
one of the politest and best-bred gentlemen in England by every body,
and learned as well as polite, and yet had his education in one of
those celebrated seats of learning. I wish your Billy may never fall
short of the gentleman I mean, in all these acquirements; and he will
be a very happy creature, I am sure.
But how I wander again from my subject. I have no other way to recover
myself, when I thus ramble, but by returning to that one delightful
point of reflection, that I have the honour to be, dearest Sir, _your
ever dutiful and obliged_,
P.B.
LETTER XCIV
DEAREST SIR,
I now resume my subject. I had gone through the article of the tutor,
as well as I could; and will now observe upon what Mr. Locke
says, That children are wholly, if possible, to be kept from the
conversation of the meaner servants; whom he supposes to be, as too
frequently they are, _unbred_ and _debauched_, to use his own words.
Now, Sir, I think it is very difficult to keep children from
the conversation of servants at all times. The care of personal
attendance, especially in the child's early age, must fall upon
servants of one denomination or other, who, little or much, must be
conversant with the inferior servants, and so be liable to be tainted
by their conversation; and it will be difficult in this case to
prevent the taint being communicated to the child. Wherefore it will
be a _surer_, as well as a more _laudable_ method, to insist upon the
regular behaviour of the whole family, than to expect the child, and
its immediate attendant or tutor, should be the only good ones in it.
Nor is this so difficult to effect, as may be imagined. Your family
affords an eminent instance of it: the good have been confirmed, the
remiss have been reformed, the passionate have been tamed; and there
is not a family in the kingdom, I will venture to say, to the honour
of every individual in it, more uniform, more regular, and freer from
evil, and more regardful of what they say and do, than yours. And you
will allow, that though always honest, yet they were not always so
laudable, so exemplarily virtuous, as of late: which I mention only to
shew the practicableness of a reformation, even where bad habits have
taken place--For your Pamela, Sir, arrogates not to herself the honour
of this change: 'tis owing to the Divine grace shining upon hearts
naturally good; for else an example so easy, so plain, so simple,
from so young a mistress, who moreover had been exalted from their own
station, could not have been attended with such happy effects.
You see, dear Sir, what a master and mistress's example could do, with
a poor soul so far gone as Mrs. Jewkes. And I dare be confident, that
if, on the hiring of a new servant, sobriety of manners and a virtuous
conversation were insisted upon, and a general inoffensiveness in
words as well as actions was required from them, as indispensable
conditions of their service: and that a breach of that kind would be
no more passed over, than a wilful fraud, or an act of dishonesty; and
if, added to these requisites, their principals take care to support
these injunctions by their own example; I say, then, I dare be
confident, that if such a service did not _find_ them good, it would
_make_ them so.
And why should we not think this a very practicable scheme,
considering the servants we take are at years of discretion, and have
the strong ties of _interest_ superadded to the obligations we require
of them? and which, they must needs know (let 'em have what bad habits
they will) are right for _themselves_ to discharge, as well as for
_us_ to exact.
We all know of how much force the example of superiors is to
inferiors. It is too justly said, that the courts of princes abound
with the most profligate of men, insomuch that a man cannot well have
a more significantly bad title, than that of COURTIER: yet even among
these, one shall see the force of _example_, as I have heard you, Sir,
frequently observe: for, let but the land be blest with a pious and
religious prince, who makes it a rule with him to countenance and
promote men of virtue and probity; and to put the case still stronger,
let such a one even succeed to the most libertine reign, wherein the
manners of the people are wholly depraved: yet a wonderful change will
be immediately effected. The flagitious livers will be chased away, or
reformed; or at least will think it their duty, or their _interest_,
which is a stronger tie with such, to _appear_ reformed; and not a man
will seek for the favour or countenance of his prince, but by laudable
pretences, or by worthy actions.
In the reign of King Richard III, as I have read, deformity of body
was the fashion, and the nobility and gentry of the court thought it
an indispensable requisite of a graceful form to pad for themselves a
round shoulder, because the king was crooked. And can we think human
nature so absurdly wicked, that it would not much rather have tried
to imitate a personal perfection, than a deformity so shocking in its
appearance, in people who were naturally straight?
'Tis melancholy to reflect, that of all professions of men, the
mariners, who most behold the wonders of Almighty power displayed in
the great deep (a sight that has struck me with awe and reverence only
from a coast prospect), and who every moment, while at sea, have but
one frail plank betwixt themselves and inevitable destruction, are
yet, generally speaking, said to be the most abandoned invokers and
blasphemers of the name of that God, whose mercies they every moment
unthankfully, although so visibly, experience. Yet, as I once heard at
your table, Sir, on a particular occasion, we have now a commander
in the British navy, who, to his honour, has shewn the force of an
excellent example supporting the best precepts: for, on board of his
ship, not an oath or curse was to be heard; while volleys of
both (issued from impious mouths in the same squadron, out of his
knowledge) seemed to fill the sails of other ships with guilty breath,
calling aloud for that perdition to overtake them, which perhaps his
worthy injunctions and example, in his own, might be of weight to
suspend.
If such then, dear Sir, be the force of a good example, what have
parents to do, who would bring up a child at home under their own eye,
according to Mr. Locke's advice, but, first, to have a strict regard
to _their_ conduct! This will not want its due influence on the
servants; especially if a proper enquiry be first made into their
characters, and a watchful eye had over them, to keep them up to those
characters afterwards. And when they know they must forfeit the favour
of a worthy master, and their places too (which may be thought to
be the best of places, because an _uniform_ character must make all
around it easy and happy), they will readily observe such rules and
directions, as shall be prescribed to them--Rules and directions,
which their own consciences will tell them are _right_ to be
prescribed; and even right for them to follow, were they not insisted
upon by their superiors: and this conviction must go a great way
towards their _thorough_ reformation: for a person wholly convinced is
half reformed. And thus the hazard a child will run of being corrupted
by conversing with the servants, will be removed, and all Mr. Locke's
other rules be better enforced.
I have the boldness, Sir, to make another objection; and that is, to
the distance which Mr. Locke prescribes to be kept between children
and servants: for may not this be a means to fill the minds of the
former with a contempt of those below them, and an arrogance that is
not warranted by any rank or condition, to their inferiors of the same
species?
I have before transcribed what Mr. Locke has enjoined in relation to
this distance, where he says, that the children are by all means to
be kept _wholly_ from the conversation of the meaner servants. But
how much better advice does the same author give for the behaviour of
children to servants in the following words which, I humbly think, are
not so entirely consistent with the former, as might be expected from
so admirable an author.
"Another way," says he (Section 111), "to instil sentiments of
humanity, and to keep them lively in young folks, will be, to accustom
them to civility in their language and deportment towards their
inferiors, and meaner sort of people, particularly servants. It is
not unusual to observe the children in gentlemen's families treat the
servants of the house with domineering words, names of contempt, and
an imperious carriage, as if they were of another race, or species
beneath them. Whether ill example, the advantage of fortune or their
natural vanity, inspire this haughtiness, it should be prevented or
weeded out; and a gentle, courteous, affable carriage towards
the lower ranks of men placed in the room of it. No part of their
superiority will be hereby lost, but the distinction increased, and
their authority strengthened, when love in inferiors is joined to
outward respect, and the esteem of the person has a share in their
submission: and domestics will pay a more ready and cheerful service,
when they find themselves not spurned, because fortune has laid them
below the level of others at their master's feet."
These, dear Sir, are certainly the sentiments of a generous and
enlarged spirit: but I hope, I may observe, that the great distance
Mr. Locke before enjoins to be kept between children and servants, is
not very consistent with the above-cited paragraph: for if we would
prevent this undue contempt of inferiors in the temper of children,
the best way, as I humbly presume to think, is not to make it so
unpardonable a fault for them, especially in their early years, to
be in their company. For can one make the children shun the
servants without rendering them odious or contemptible to them, and
representing them to the child in such disadvantageous light, as must
needs make the servants vile in their eyes, and themselves lofty
and exalted in their own? and thereby cause them to treat them with
"domineering words, and an imperious carriage, as if they were of
another race or species beneath them; and so," as Mr. Locke says,
"nurse up their natural pride into an habitual contempt of those
beneath them; and then," as he adds, "where will that probably end,
but in oppression and cruelty?" But this matter, dear Sir, I presume
to think, will all be happily accommodated and reconciled, when the
servants' good behaviour is secured by the example and injunctions of
the principals.
Upon the whole, then, of what Mr. Locke has enjoined, and what I have
taken the liberty to suggest on this head, it shall be my endeavour,
in that early part of your dear Billy's education, which you will
intrust to me, to inculcate betimes in his mind the principles of
universal benevolence and kindness to others, especially to inferiors.
Nor shall I fear, that the little dear will be wanting to himself
in assuming, as he grows up, an air of superiority and distance of
behaviour equal to his condition, or that he will descend too low for
his station. For, Sir, there is a pride and self-love natural to human
minds, that will seldom be kept so low, as to make them humbler than
they ought to be.
I have observed, before now, instances of this, in some of the
families we visit, between the young Masters or Misses, and those
children of lower degree, who have been brought to play with them, or
divert them. On the Masters' and Misses' side I have always seen, they
lead the play and prescribe the laws of it, be the diversion what it
will; while, on the other hand, their lower-rank play-fellows have
generally given into their little humours, though ever so contrary to
their own; and the difference of dress and appearance, and the
notion they have of the more eminent condition of their play-fellows'
parents, have begot in them a kind of awe and respect, that perhaps
more than sufficiently secures the superiority of the one, and the
subordination of the other.
The advantage of this universal benevolence to a young gentleman, as
he grows up, will be, as I humbly conceive, so to diffuse itself over
his mind, as to influence all his actions, and give a grace to every
thing he does or says, and make him admired and respected from the
best and most durable motives; and will be of greater advantage to him
for his attaining a handsome address and behaviour (for it will make
him conscious that he _merits_ the distinction he will meet with, and
encourage him still _more_ to merit it), than the best rules that can
be given him for that purpose.
I will therefore teach the little dear courteousness and affability,
from the properest motives I am able to think of; and will instruct
him in only one piece of pride, that of being above doing a mean or
low action. I will caution him not to behave in a lordly or insolent
manner, even to the lowest servants. I will tell him that that
superiority is the most commendable, and will be the best maintained,
which is owing to humanity and kindness, and grounded on the
perfections of the _mind_, rather than on the _accidental_ advantage
of _fortune_ and _condition_: that if his conduct be such as it ought
to be, there will be no occasion to tell a servant, that he will
be observed and respected: that _humility_, as I once told my Miss
Goodwin, is a charming grace, and most conspicuously charming in
persons of distinction; for that the poor, who are humbled by their
condition, cannot glory in it, as the rich may; and that it makes
the lower ranks of people love and admire the high-born, who can so
condescend: whereas _pride_, in such, is meanness and insult, as it
owes its boast and its being to accidental advantages; which, at the
same time, are seldom of _his_ procuring, who can be so mean as to be
proud: that even I would sooner forget pride in a low degree than in
a high; for it may be a security in the first against doing a base
thing: but in the rich, it is a base thing itself, and an impolitic
one too; for the more distinction a proud mind grasps at, the less it
will have; and every poor despised person can whisper such a one in
the ear, when surrounded with, and adorned by, all his glittering
splendours, that he _was_ born, and _must_ die, in the _same manner_
with those whom he despises.
Thus will the doctrine of benevolence and affability, implanted early
in the mind of a young gentleman, and duly cultivated as he grows
up, inspire him with the requisite conduct to command respect from
_proper_ motives; and while it will make the servants observe a
decorum towards him, it will oblige them to have a guard upon their
words and actions in presence of one, whose manner of education and
training-up would be so great a reproach to them, if they were grossly
faulty: so thus, I conceive, a mutual benefit will flow to the manners
of each; and _his_ good behaviour will render him, in some measure, an
instructive monitor to the whole family.
But permit me, Sir, to enlarge on the hint I have already given, in
relation to the example of parents, in case a preference be given
to the home education. For if this point cannot be secured, I should
always imagine it were best to put the child to such a school, as I
formerly mentioned. But yet the subject might be spared by me in this
case, as I write with a view only to your family; though you will
remember, that while I follow Mr. Locke, whose work is public, I must
be considered as directing myself to the generality of the world: for,
Sir, I have the pleasure to say, that your conduct in your family is
unexceptionable; and the pride to think that mine is no disgrace to
it. No one hears a word from your mouth unbecoming the character of a
polite gentleman; and I shall always be very regardful of what falls
from mine. Your temper, Sir, is equal and kind to all your servants,
and they love you, as well as awfully respect you: and well does your
beautiful and considerate mind, deserve it of them all: and they,
seeing I am watchful over my own conduct, so as not to behave unworthy
of your kind example, regard me as much as I could wish they should;
for well do they know, that their beloved master will have it so, and
greatly honours and esteems me himself. Your table-talk is such
as persons of the strictest principles may hear, and join in: your
guests, and your friends are, generally speaking, persons of the
genteelest life, and of the best manners. So that Mr. Locke would have
advised _you_, of all gentlemen, had he been living, and known you,
to give your children a home education, and assign these, and still
stronger reasons for it.
But were we to speak to the generality of parents, I fear this would
be an almost insuperable objection to a home education. For (I am
sorry to say it) when one turns one's eyes to the bad precedents given
by the heads of some families, it is hardly to be wondered at, that
there is so little virtue and religion among men. For can those
parents be surprised at the ungraciousness of their _children_,
who hardly ever shew them, that their _own_ actions are governed
by reasonable or moral motives? Can the gluttonous father expect a
self-denying son? With how ill a grace must a man who will often be
disguised in liquor, preach sobriety? a passionate man, patience?
an irreligious man, piety? How will a parent, whose hands are seldom
without cards, or dice in them, be observed in lessons against the
pernicious vice of gaming? Can the profuse father, who is squandering
away the fortunes of his children, expect to be regarded in a lesson
of frugality? 'Tis impossible he should, except it were that the
youth, seeing how pernicious his father's example is, should have the
grace to make a proper use of it, and look upon it as a sea-mark, as
it were, to enable him to shun the dangerous rocks, on which he
sees his father splitting. And even in this _best_ case, let it be
considered, how much shame and disgrace his thoughtless parent ought
to take to himself, who can admonish his child by nothing but the
_odiousness_ of his own vice; and how little it is owing to him, that
his guilt is not _doubled_, by his son's treading in his steps! Let
such an unhappy parent duly weigh this, and think how likely he is to
be, by his bad example, the cause of his child's perdition, as well as
his own, and stand unshocked and unamended, if he can!
It is then of no avail to wish for discreet servants, if the conduct
of the parents is faulty. If the fountain-head be polluted, how shall
the under-currents run clear? That master and mistress, who would
exact from their servants a behaviour which they themselves don't
practice, will be but ill observed. And that child, who discovers
excesses and errors in his parents, will be found to be less profited
by their good precepts, than prejudiced by bad examples. Excessive
fondness this hour; violent passions and perhaps execrations, the
next; unguarded jests, and admiration of fashionable vanities, rash
censures, are perhaps the best, that the child sees in, or hears from
those, who are most concerned to inculcate good precepts into his
mind. And where it is so, a home education must not surely be chosen.
Having thus, as well as my slender abilities will permit, presumed to
deliver my opinion upon three great points, _viz_. the qualifications
of a tutor; the necessity of having an eye to the morals of servants;
and the example of parents (all which, being taken care of, will give
a preference, as I imagine, to a home education); permit me, dear
Sir, to speak a little further to a point, that I have already touched
upon.
It is that of _emulation_; which I humbly conceive to be of great
efficacy to lead children on in their duties and studies. And how,
dear Sir, shall this advantage be procured for a young master, who has
no school-fellows and who has no example to follow, but that of
his tutor, whom he cannot, from the disparity of years, and other
circumstances, without pain (because of this disparity), think of
emulating? And this, I conceive, is a very great advantage to such a
school education, as I mentioned in my former letter, where there are
no more scholars taken in, than the master can with ease and pleasure
instruct.
But one way, in my humble opinion, is left to answer this objection,
and still preserve the reason for the preference which Mr. Locke gives
to a home education; and that is, what I formerly hinted, to take
into your family the child of some honest neighbour of but middling
circumstances, and like age of your own, but who should give apparent
indications of his natural promptitude, ingenuous temper, obliging
behaviour and good manners; and to let him go hand-in-hand with yours
in his several studies and lessons under the same tutor.
The child would be sensible of the benefit, as well as of the
distinction, he received, and consequently of what was expected from
him, and would double his diligence, and exert all his good qualities,
which would inspire the young gentleman with the wished-for emulation,
and, as I imagine, would be so promotive of his learning, that it
would greatly compensate the tutor for his pains with the additional
scholar; for the young gentleman would be ashamed to be outdone by one
of like years and stature with himself. And little rewards might
be proposed to the greatest proficient, in order to heighten the
emulation.
Then, Sir, the _generosity_ of such a method, to a gentleman of your
fortune, and beneficent mind, would be its own reward, were there no
other benefit to be received from it.
Moreover, such an ingenious youth might, by his good morals and
industry, hereafter be of service, in some place of trust in the
family; or it would be easy for a gentleman of your interest in the
world, if such a thing offered not, to provide for the youth in the
navy, in some of the public offices, or among your private friends.
If he proved faulty in his morals, his dismission would be in your own
power, and would be punishment enough.
But, if on the other hand, he proved a sober and hopeful youth, he
would make an excellent companion for your Billy in riper years; as
he would be, in a manner, a corroborator of his morals; for, as his
circumstances would not support him in any extravagance, so they would
be a check upon his inclination; and this being seconded by the hopes
of future preferment from your favour and interest, which he could not
expect but upon the terms of his perseverance in virtue, he would find
himself under a necessity of setting such an example, as might be of
great benefit to his companion, who should be watched, as he grew up,
that he did not (if his ample fortune became dangerous to his virtue)
contribute out of his affluence to draw the other after him into
extravagance. And to this end, as I humbly conceive, the noble
doctrine of _independence_ should be early instilled into both their
minds, and upon all occasions, inculcated and inforced; which would be
an inducement for the one to endeavour to _improve_ his fortune by his
honest industry, lest he never be enabled to rise out of a state of
dependence; and to the other, to _keep,_ if not to _improve,_ his
own, lest he ever fall into such a servile state, and thereby lose the
glorious power of conferring happiness on the deserving, one of the
highest pleasures that a generous mind can know; a pleasure, Sir,
which you have oftener experienced than thousands of gentlemen:
and which may you still continue to experience for a long and happy
succession of years, is the prayer of one, the most obliged of all
others in her own person, as well as in the persons of her dearest
relations, and who owes to this glorious beneficence the honour she
boasts, of being _your ever affectionate and grateful_ P.B.
LETTER XCV
But now, my dear Mr. B., if you will indulge me in a letter or two
more, preparative to my little book, I will take the liberty to touch
upon one or two other places, wherein I differ from this learned
gentleman. But first, permit me to observe, that if parents are, above
all things, to avoid giving bad examples to their children, they
will be no less careful to shun the practice of such fond fathers and
mothers, as are wont to indulge their children in bad habits, and give
them their head, at a time when, like wax, their tender minds may
be moulded into what shape they please. This is a point that, if it
please God, I will carefully attend to, because it is the foundation
on which the superstructure of the whole future man is to be erected.
For, according as he is indulged or checked in his childish follies,
a ground is laid for his future happiness or misery; and if once they
are suffered to become habitual to him, it cannot but be expected,
that they will grow up with him, and that they will hardly ever be
eradicated. "Try it," says Mr. Locke, speaking to this very point, "in
a dog, or a horse, or any other creature, and see whether the ill and
resty tricks they have learned when young, are easily to be mended,
when they are knit; and yet none of these creatures are half so wilful
and proud, or half so desirous to be masters of themselves, as men."
And this brings me, dear Sir, to the head of _punishments_, in which,
as well as in the article of _rewards_, which I have touched upon, I
have a little objection to what Mr. Locke advances.
But permit me, however, to premise, that I am exceedingly pleased with
the method laid down by this excellent writer, rather to shame the
child out of his fault, than beat him; which latter serves generally
for nothing but to harden his mind.
_Obstinacy_, and telling a _lie_, and committing a _wilful_ fault,
and then persisting in it, are, I agree with this gentleman, the only
causes for which the child should be punished with stripes: and
I admire the reasons he gives against a too rigorous and severe
treatment of children.
But I will give Mr. Locke's words, to which I have some objection.
"It may be doubted," says he, "concerning whipping, when, as the
_last_ remedy, it comes to be necessary, at _what time_, and by whom,
it should be done; whether presently, upon the committing the
fault, whilst it is yet fresh and hot. I think it should not be done
presently," adds he, "lest passion mingle with it; and so, though it
exceed the just proportion, yet it lose of its due weight. For even
children discern whenever we do things in a passion."
I must beg leave, dear Sir, to differ from Mr. Locke in this point;
for I think it ought rather to be a rule with parents, who shall
chastise their children, to conquer what would be extreme in _their
own_ passion on this occasion (for those who cannot do it, are very
unfit to be the punishers of the wayward passions of their children),
than to _defer_ the punishment, especially if the child knows its
fault has reached its parent's ear. It is otherwise, methinks, giving
the child, if of an obstinate disposition, so much more time to harden
its mind, and bid defiance to its punishment.
Just now, dear Sir, your Billy is brought into my presence, all
smiling, crowing to come to me, and full of heart-cheering promises;
and the subject I am upon goes to my heart. Surely I can never beat
your Billy!--Dear little life of my life! how can I think thou canst
ever deserve it, or that I can ever inflict it?--No, my baby, that
shall be thy papa's task, if ever thou art so heinously naughty; and
whatever _he_ does, must be right. Pardon my foolish fondness, dear
Sir!--I will proceed.
If, then, the fault be so atrocious as to deserve whipping, and the
parent be resolved on this exemplary punishment, the child ought not,
as I imagine, to come into one's presence without meeting with it:
or else, a fondness too natural to be resisted, will probably get the
upper hand of one's resentment, and how shall one be able to whip the
dear creature one had ceased to be angry with? Then after he has once
seen one without meeting his punishment, will he not be inclined to
hope for connivance at his fault, unless it should be repeated? And
may he not be apt (for children's resentments are strong) to impute
to cruelty a correction (when he thought the fault had been forgotten)
that should always appear to be inflicted with reluctance, and through
motives of love?
If, from anger at his fault, one should go _above the due proportion_,
(I am sure I might be trusted for this!) let it take its course!--How
barbarously, methinks, I speak!--He ought to _feel_ the lash, first,
because he _deserves_ it, poor little soul? Next, because it is
_proposed_ to be exemplary. And, lastly, because it is not intended to
be _often_ used: and the very passion or displeasure one expresses (if
it be not enormous) will shew one is in earnest, and create in him a
necessary awe, and fear to offend again. The _end_ of the correction
is to shew him the difference between right and wrong. And as it
is proper to take him at his first offer of a full submission and
repentance (and not before), and instantly dispassionate one's self,
and shew him the difference by acts of pardon and kindness (which
will let him see that one punishes him out of necessity rather than
choice), so one would not be afraid to make him smart so sufficiently,
that he should not soon forget the severity of the discipline, nor
the disgrace of it. There's a cruel mamma for you, Mr. B.! What my
_practice_ may be, I cannot tell; but this _theory_, I presume to
think, is right.
As to the _act_ itself, I much approve Mr. Locke's advice, to do it
by pauses, mingling stripes and expostulations together, to shame and
terrify the more; and the rather, as the parent, by this slow manner
of inflicting the punishment, will less need to be afraid of giving
too violent a correction; for those pauses will afford _him_, as well
as the _child_, opportunities for consideration and reflection.
But as to the _person_, by whom the discipline should be performed,
I humbly conceive, that this excellent author is here also to be
objected to.
"If you have a discreet servant," says he, "capable of it, and has the
place of governing your child (for if you have a tutor, there is no
doubt), I think it is best the smart should come immediately from
another's hand, though by the parent's order, who should see it done,
whereby the parent's authority will be preserved, and the child's
aversion for the pain it suffers, rather be turned on the person that
immediately inflicts it. For I would have a father seldom strike a
child, but upon very urgent necessity, and as the last remedy."
'Tis in such an urgent case that we are supposing that it should be
done at all. If there be not a reason strong enough for the father's
whipping the child himself, there cannot be one for his ordering
another to do it, and standing by to see it done. But I humbly think,
that if there be a necessity, no one can be so fit as the father
himself to do it. The child cannot dispute his authority to punish,
from whom he receives and expects all the good things of his life: he
cannot question _his_ love to him, and after the smart is over, and
his obedience secured, must believe that so tender, so indulgent a
father could have no other end in whipping him, but his good. Against
_him_, he knows he has no remedy, but must passively submit; and when
he is convinced he _must_, he will in time conclude that he _ought_.
But to have this severe office performed by a servant, though at the
father's command, and that professedly, that the aversion of the child
for the pain it suffers should be turned on the person who immediately
inflicts it, is, I humbly think, the _reverse_ of what ought to be
done. And _more_ so, if this servant has any direction of the child's
education; and still much _more_ so, if it be his tutor, though Mr.
Locke says, there is no doubt, if there be a tutor, that it should be
done by him.
For, dear Sir, is there no doubt, that the tutor should lay himself
open to the aversion of the child, whose manners he is to form? Is not
the best method a tutor can take, in order to enforce the lessons he
would inculcate, to try to attract the love and attention of his pupil
by the most winning ways he can possibly think of? And yet is _he_,
this very tutor _out of all doubt_, to be the instrument of doing an
harsh and disgraceful thing, and that in the last resort, when all
other methods are found ineffectual; and that too, because he ought to
incur the child's resentment and aversion, rather than the father? No,
surely, Sir, it is not reasonable it should be so: quite contrary,
in my humble notion, there can be no doubt, but that it should be
_otherwise_.
It should, methinks, be enough for a tutor, in case of a fault in the
child, to threaten to complain to his father; but yet not to make
such a complaint, without the child obstinately persists in his error,
which, too, should be of a nature to merit such an appeal: and this
might highly contribute to preserve the parent's authority; who, on
this occasion, should never fail of extorting a promise of amendment,
or of instantly punishing him with his own hands. And, to soften the
distaste he might conceive in resentment of too rigid complainings, it
might not be amiss, that his interposition in the child's favour, were
the fault not too flagrant, should be permitted to save him once or
twice from the impending discipline.
'Tis certain that the passions, if I may so call them, of affection
and aversion, are very early discoverable in children; insomuch
that they will, even before they can speak, afford us marks for the
detection of an hypocritical appearance of love to it before the
parents' faces. For the fondness or averseness of the child to some
servants, will at any time let one know, whether their love to the
baby is uniform and the same, when one is absent, as present. In one
case the child will reject with sullenness all the little sycophancies
made to it in one's sight; while on the other, its fondness of the
person, who generally obliges it, is an infallible rule to judge of
such an one's sincerity behind one's back. This little observation
shews the strength of a child's resentments, and its sagacity, at the
earliest age, in discovering who obliges, and who disobliges it: and
hence one may infer, how improper a person _he_ is, whom we would have
a child to love and respect, or by whose precepts we would have it
directed, to be the punisher of its faults, or to do any harsh or
disagreeable office to it.
For my own part, I beg to declare, that if the parent were not to
inflict the punishment himself, I think it much better it should be
given him, in the parent's presence, by the servant of the lowest
consideration in the family, and whose manners and example one would
be the least willing of any other he should follow. Just as the common
executioner, who is the lowest and most flagitious officer of the
commonwealth, and who frequently deserves, as much as the criminal,
the punishment he is chosen to inflict, is pitched upon to perform,
as a mark of greater ignominy, sentences intended as examples to deter
others from the commission of heinous crimes. The Almighty took this
method when he was disposed to correct severely his chosen people;
for, in that case, he generally did it by the hands of the most
profligate nations around them, as we read in many places of the Old
Testament.
But the following rule I admire in Mr. Locke: "When," says he (for any
misdemeanour), "the father or mother looks sour on the child, every
one else should put on the same coldness to him, and nobody give him
countenance till forgiveness is asked, and a reformation of his fault
has set him right again, and restored him to his former credit. If
this were constantly observed," adds he, "I guess there would be
little need of blows or chiding: their own ease or satisfaction would
quickly teach children to court commendation, and avoid doing that
which they found every body condemned, and they were sure to suffer
for, without being chid or beaten. This would teach them modesty and
shame, and they would quickly come to have a natural abhorrence for
that which they found made them slighted and neglected by every body."
This affords me a pretty hint; for if ever your charming Billy shall
be naughty, I will proclaim throughout your worthy family, that the
little dear is in disgrace! And one shall shun him, another decline
answering him, a third say, "No, master, I cannot obey you, till your
mamma is pleased with you"; a fourth, "Who shall mind what little
masters bid them do, when they won't mind what their mammas say to
them?" And when the dear little soul finds this, he will come in my
way, (and I see, pardon me, my dear Mr. B., he has some of his papa's
spirit, already, indeed he has!) and I will direct myself with double
kindness to your beloved Davers, and to my Miss Goodwin, and not
notice the dear creature, if I can help it, till I can see his _papa_
(forgive my boldness) banished from his little sullen brow, and all
his _mamma_ rise to his eyes. And when his musical tongue shall be
unlocked to own his fault, and promise amendment--O then! how shall I
clasp him to my bosom! and tears of joy, I know, will meet his tears
of penitence!
How these flights, dear Sir, please a body!-What delights have those
mammas (which some fashionable dear ladies are quite unacquainted
with) who can make their babies, and their first educations, their
entertainment and diversion! To watch the dawnings of reason in them,
to direct their little passions, as they shew themselves, to this
or that particular point of benefit or use; and to prepare the sweet
virgin soil of their minds to receive the seeds of virtue and goodness
so early, that, as they grow up, one need only now a little pruning,
and now a little water, to make them the ornaments and delights of
the garden of this life! And then their pretty ways, their fond
and grateful endearments, some new beauty every day rising to
observation--O my dearest Mr. B., whose enjoyments and pleasures are
so great, as those of such mothers as can bend their minds two or
three hours every day to the duties of the nursery?
I have a few other things to observe upon Mr. Locke's treatise, which,
when I have done, I shall read, admire, and improve by the rest, as my
years and experience advance; of which, in my proposed little book,
I shall give you better proofs than I am able to do at present; raw,
crude, and indigested as the notions of so young a mamma must needs
be.
But these shall be the subjects of another letter; for now I am come
to the pride and the pleasure I always have, when I subscribe myself,
dearest Sir, _your ever dutiful and grateful_
P.B.
LETTER XCVI
DEAR SIR,
Mr. Locke gives a great many very pretty instructions relating to the
play-games of children: but I humbly presume to object to what he says
in one or two places.
He would not indulge them in any playthings, but what they make
themselves, or endeavour to make. "A smooth pebble, a piece of paper,
the mother's bunch of keys, or any thing they cannot hurt themselves
with," he rightly says, "serve as much to divert little children,
as those more chargeable and curious toys from the shops, which are
presently put out of order, and broken."
These playthings may certainly do for little ones: but methinks, to a
person of easy circumstances, since the making these toys employs
the industrious poor, the buying them for the child might be complied
with, though they _were_ easily broken; and especially as they are of
all prices, and some less costly, and more durable than others.
"Tops, gigs, battledores," Mr. Locke observes, "which are to be used
with labour, should indeed be procured them--not for variety, but
exercise; but if they had a top, the scourge-stick and leather strap
should be left to their own making and fitting."
But I may presume to say, that whatever be the good Mr. Locke proposes
by this, it cannot be equal to the mischief children may do themselves
in making these playthings! For must they not have implements to work
with? and is not a knife, or other edged tool, without which it is
impossible they can make or shape a scourge-stick, or _any_ of their
playthings, a fine instrument in a child's hands! This advice is
the reverse of the caution warranted from all antiquity, _That it is
dangerous to meddle with edged tools!_ and I am afraid, the tutor must
often act the surgeon, and follow the indulgence with a styptic and
plaister; and the young gentleman's hands might be so often bound up
as to be one way to cure him of his earnest desire to play; but I
can hardly imagine any other good that it can do him; for I doubt the
excellent consequences proposed by our author from this doctrine,
such as to teach the child moderation in his desires, application,
industry, thought, contrivance, and good husbandry, qualities that, as
he says, will be useful to him when he is a man, are too remote to be
ingrafted upon such beginnings; although it must be confessed, that,
as Mr. Locke wisely observes, good habits and industry cannot be too
early inculcated.
But then, Sir, may I ask, Are not the very plays and sports, to which
children accustom themselves, whether they make their own playthings
or not, equivalent to the work or labour of grown persons! Yes, Sir,
I will venture to say, they are, and more than equivalent to the
exercises and labour of many.
Mr. Locke advises, that the child's playthings should be as few as
possible, which I entirely approve: that they should be in his tutor's
power, who is to give him but one at once. But since it is the nature
of the human mind to court most what is prohibited, and to set light
by what is in its own power; I am half doubtful (only that Mr. Locke
says it, and it may not be so very important as other points, in which
I have ventured to differ from that gentleman), whether the child's
absolute possession of his own playthings in some little repository,
of which he may be permitted to keep the key, especially if he makes
no bad use of the privilege, would not make him more indifferent to
them: while the contrary conduct might possibly enhance his value of
them. And if, when he had done with any plaything, he were obliged to
put it into its allotted place, and were accustomed to keep account of
the number and places of them severally; this would teach him order,
and at the same time instruct him to keep a proper account of them,
and to avoid being a squanderer or waster: and if he should omit to
put his playthings in their places, or be careless of them, the taking
them away for a time, or threatening to give them to others, would
make him the more heedful.
Mr. Locke says, that he has known a child so distracted with the
number and variety of his playthings, that he tired his maid every day
to look them over: and was so accustomed to abundance, that he never
thought he had enough, but was always asking, "What more? What new
thing shall I have?"--"A good introduction," adds he, ironically, "to
moderate desires, and the ready way to make a contented happy man."
All that I shall offer to this, is, that few _men_ are so
philosophical as one would wish them to be, much less _children_. But,
no doubt, this variety engaged the child's activity; which, of the two
might be turned to better purposes than sloth or indolence; and if the
maid was tired, it might be, because she was not so much _alive_ as
the child; and perhaps this part of the grievance might not be so
great, because if she was his attendant, 'tis probable she had nothing
else to do.
However, in the main, as Mr. Locke says, it is no matter how few
playthings the child is indulged with; but yet I can hardly persuade
myself, that plenty of them can have such bad consequences as he
apprehends; and the rather, because they will excite his attention,
and promote his industry and activity. His enquiry after new things,
let him have few or many, is to be expected as a consequence to
those natural desires which are implanted in him, and will every day
increase: but this may be observed, that as he grows in years, he will
be above some playthings, and so the number of the old ones will be
always reducible, perhaps in a greater proportion, than the new ones
will increase.
On the head of good-breeding, he observes, that, "there are two sorts
of ill-breeding; the one a sheepish bashfulness, and the other a
misbecoming negligence and disrespect in our carriage; both which,"
says he, "are avoided by duly observing this one rule, not to think
meanly of ourselves, and not to think meanly of others." I think, as
Mr. Locke explains this rule, it is an excellent one. But I would beg
to observe upon it, that however discommendable a bashful temper is,
in some instances, where it must be deemed a weakness of the mind,
yet, in my humble opinion, it is generally the mark of an ingenuous
one, and is always to be preferred to an undistinguishing and hardy
confidence, which, as it seems to me, is the genuine production of
invincible ignorance.
What is faulty in it, which he calls _sheepishness_, should indeed be
shaken off as soon as possible, because it is an enemy to merit in its
advancement in the world: but, Sir, were I to choose a companion for
your Billy, as he grows up, I should not think the worse of the youth,
who, not having had the opportunities of knowing men, or seeing the
world, had this defect. On the contrary, I should be apt to look upon
it as an outward fence or inclosure to his virtue, which might keep
off the lighter attacks of immorality, the _Hussars_ of vice, as I may
say, who are not able to carry on a formal siege against his morals;
and I should expect such a one to be docile, humane, good-humoured,
diffident of himself, and therefore most likely to improve as well in
mind as behaviour: while a hardened mind, that never doubts itself,
must be a stranger to its own infirmities, and suspecting none, is
impetuous, over-bearing, incorrigible; and, if rich, a tyrant; if not,
possibly an invader of other men's properties; or at least, such a one
as allows itself to walk so near the borders of injustice, that where
_self_ is concerned, it hardly ever does right things.
Mr. Locke proposes (Section 148) a very pretty method to cheat
children, as it were, into learning: but then he adds, "There may be
dice and playthings, with the letters on them, to teach children the
alphabet by playing." And (Section 151) "I know a person of great
quality, who, by pasting on the six vowels (for in our language _y_ is
one) on the six sides of a dice, and the remaining eighteen consonants
on the sides of three other dice, has made this a play for his
children, that _he_ shall win, who at one cast throws most words on
these four dice; whereby his eldest son, yet in coats, has _played_
himself _into spelling_ with great eagerness, and without once having
been chid for it, or forced to it."
But I had rather your Billy should be a twelvemonth backwarder for
want of this method, than forwarded by it. For what may not be feared
from so early inculcating the use of dice and gaming, upon the minds
of children? Let Mr. Locke himself speak to this in his Section
208, and I wish I could reconcile the two passages in this excellent
author. "As to cards and dice," says he, "I think the safest and best
way is, never to learn any play upon them, and so to be incapacitated
for these dangerous temptations, and encroaching wasters of useful
time." And, he might have added, of the noblest estates and fortunes;
while sharpers and scoundrels have been lifted into distinction upon
their ruins. Yet, in Sec. 153, Mr. Locke proceeds to give directions in
relation to the dice he recommends.
But after all, if some innocent plays were fixed upon to cheat
children into reading, that, as he says, should look as little like
a task as possible, it must needs be of use for that purpose. But let
every gentleman, who has a fortune to lose, and who, if he games, is
on a foot with the vilest company, who generally have nothing at all
to risque, tremble at the thoughts of teaching his son, though for the
most laudable purposes, the early use of dice and gaming.
But how much I am charmed with a hint in Mr. Locke, which makes your
Pamela hope, she may be of greater use to your children, even as they
_grow up_, than she could ever have flattered herself to be. 'Tis a
charming paragraph; I must not skip one word of it. Thus it begins,
and I will observe upon it as I go along. Sec. 177: "But under whose care
soever a child is put to be taught, during the tender and flexible
years of his life, this is certain, it should be one who thinks Latin
and language the least part of education."
How agreeable is this to my notions; which I durst not have avowed,
but after so excellent a scholar! For I have long had the thought,
that much time is wasted to little purpose in the attaining of Latin.
Mr. H., I think, says he was ten years in endeavouring to learn
it, and, as far as I can find, knows nothing at all of the matter
neither!--Indeed he lays that to the wicked picture in his grammar,
which he took for granted (as he has often said, as well as once
written) was put there to teach boys to rob orchards, instead of
improving their minds in learning, or common honesty.
But (for this is too light an instance for the subject) Mr. Locke
proceeds--"One who knowing how much virtue and a well-tempered soul is
to be preferred to any sort of _learning or language_," [_What a noble
writer is this!_] "makes it his chief business to form the mind of his
scholars, and give that a right disposition:" [_Ay, there, dear Sir,
is the thing!_] "which, if once got, though all the rest should be
neglected," [_charmingly observed!_] "would, in _due time_," [_without
wicked dice, I hope!_] "produce all the rest; and which, if it be not
got and settled, so to keep out ill and vicious habits, _languages_
and _sciences_, and all the other accomplishments of education, will
be to no purpose, but to make the worse or more dangerous man." [_Now
comes the place I am so much delighted with!_] "And indeed, whatever
stir there is made about getting of Latin, as the great and difficult
business, his mother" [_thank you, dear Sir, for putting this
excellent author into my hands!_] "may teach it him herself, if she
will but spend two or three hours in a day with him," [_If she will!
Never fear, but I will, with the highest pleasure in the world!_] "and
make him read the Evangelists in Latin to her." [_How I long to be
five or six years older, as well as my dearest babies, that I may
enter upon this charming scheme!_] "For she need but buy a Latin
Testament, and having got somebody to mark the last syllable but one,
where it is long, in words above two syllables (which is enough to
regulate her pronunciation and accenting the words), read daily in the
Gospels, and then let her avoid understanding them in Latin, if she
can."
Why, dear Sir, you have taught me almost all this already; and you,
my beloved tutor, have told me often, I read and pronounce Latin more
than tolerably, though I don't understand it: but this method will
teach _me_, as well as your dear _children_--But thus the good
gentleman proceeds--"And when she understands the Evangelists in
Latin, let her in the same manner read Aesop's Fables, and so proceed
on to Eutropius, Justin, and such other books. I do not mention this,"
adds Mr. Locke, "as an imagination of what I fancy _may_ do, but as
of a thing I have known done, and the Latin tongue got with ease this
way."
He then mentions other advantages, which the child may receive from
his mother's instruction, which I will try more and more to qualify
myself for: particularly, after he has intimated, that "at the same
time that the child is learning French and Latin, he may be entered
also in arithmetic, geography, chronology, history, and geometry too;
for if," says he, "these be taught him in French or Latin, when he
begins once to understand either of these tongues, he will get a
knowledge of these sciences, and the language to boot." He then
proceeds: "Geography, I think, should be begun with: for the learning
of the figure of the globe, the situation and boundaries of the four
parts of the world, and that of particular kingdoms and countries,
being only an exercise of the eyes and memory, a child with pleasure
will learn and retain them. And this is so certain, that I now live in
a house with a child, whom his MOTHER has so well instructed this way
in geography," [_But_ _had she not, do you think, dear Sir, some of
this good gentleman's kind assistance?_] "that he knew the limits of
the four parts of the world; would readily point, being asked, to any
country upon the globe, or any county in the map of England; knew all
the great rivers, promontories, streights, and bays in the world, and
could find the longitude and latitude of any place, before he was six
years old."
There's for you, dear Sir!--See what a mother can do if she pleases!
I remember, Sir, formerly, in that sweet chariot conference, at
the dawning of my hopes, when all my dangers were happily over (a
conference I shall always think of with pleasure), that you asked me,
how I would bestow my time, supposing the neighbouring ladies would
be above being seen in my company; when I should have no visits to
receive or return; no parties of pleasure to join in; no card-tables
to employ my winter evenings?
I then, Sir, transported with my opening prospects, prattled to you,
how well I would try to pass my time, in the family management and
accounts, in visits now and then to the indigent and worthy poor; in
music sometimes; in reading, in writing, in my superior duties--And I
hope I have not behaved quite unworthily of my promise.
But I also remember, what once you said on a certain occasion, which
_now_, since the fair prospect is no longer distant, and that I have
been so long your happy wife, I may repeat without those blushes which
then covered my face; thus then, with a _modest_ grace, and with that
_virtuous_ endearment that is so _beautiful_ in _your_ sex, as well
as in _ours_, whether in the character of lover or husband, maiden
or wife, you were pleased to say--"And I hope, my Pamela, to have
superadded to all these, such an employment as--" in short, Sir, I am
now blessed with, and writing of; no less than the useful part I may
be able to take in the first education of your beloved babies!
And now I must add, that this pleasing hope sets me above all other
diversions: I wish for no parties of pleasure but with you, my dearest
Mr. B., and these are parties that will improve me, and make me more
capable of the other, and more worthy of your conversation, and of
the time you pass (beyond what I could ever have promised to my utmost
wishes) in such poor company as mine, for no other reason but because
I love to be instructed, and take my lessons well, as you are pleased
to say; and indeed I must be a sad dunce, if I did not, from so
skilful and so beloved a master. I want no card-table amusements; for
I hope, in a few years (and a proud hope it is), to be able to teach
your dear little ones the first rudiments, as Mr. Locke points the
way, of Latin, of French, and of geography, and arithmetic.
O, my dear Mr. B., by your help and countenance, what may I not
be able to teach them, and how may I prepare the way for a tutor's
instructions, and give him up minds half cultivated to his hands!--And
all this time improve myself too, not only in science, but in nature,
by tracing in the little babes what all mankind are, and have been,
from infancy to riper years, and watching the sweet dawnings of
reason, and delighting in every bright emanation of that ray of
divinity, lent to the human mind, for great and happy purposes, when
rightly pointed and directed.
There is no going farther after these charming recollections and
hopes, for they bring me to that grateful remembrance, to whom, under
God, I owe them all, and also what I have been for so happy a period,
and what I am, which will ever be my pride and my glory; and well it
may, when I look back to my beginning with humble acknowledgment, and
can call myself, dearest Mr. B., _your honoured and honouring, and, I
hope to say, in time, useful wife_, P.B.
LETTER XCVII
MY DEAREST MR. B.,
Having in my former letters said as much as is necessary to let you
into my notion of the excellent book you put into my hands, and
having touched those points in which the children of both sexes may be
concerned (with some _art_ in my intention, I own), in hope that they
would not be so much out of the way, as to make you repent of the
honour you have done me, in committing the dear Miss Goodwin to my
care; I shall now very quickly set myself about the proposed little
book.
You have been so good as to tell me (at the same time that you
disapprove not these my specimen letters as I may call them), that you
will kindly accept of my intended present, and encourage me to proceed
in it; and as I shall leave one side of the leaf blank for your
corrections and alterations, those corrections will be a fine help and
instruction to me in the pleasing task which I propose to myself, of
assisting in the early education of your dear children. And as I
may be years in writing it, as the dear babies improve, as I myself
improve, by the opportunities which their advances in years will give
me, and the experience I shall gain, I may then venture to give my
notions on the more material and nobler parts of education, as well
as the inferior: for (but that I think the subjects above my present
abilities) Mr. Locke's book would lead me into several remarks, that
might not be unuseful, and which appear to me entirely new; though
that may be owing to my slender reading and opportunities, perhaps.
But what I would now touch upon, is a word or two still more
particularly upon the education of my own sex; a topic which naturally
arises to me from the subject of my last letter. For there, dear Sir,
we saw, that the mothers might teach the child _this_ part of science,
and _that_ part of instruction; and who, I pray, as our sex is
generally educated, shall teach the _mothers_? How, in a word, shall
_they_ come by their knowledge?
I know you'll be apt to say, that Miss Goodwin gives all the promises
of becoming a fine young lady, and takes her learning, loves reading,
and makes very pretty reflections upon all she reads, and asks very
pertinent questions, and is as knowing, at her years, as most young
ladies. This is very true, Sir; but it is not every one that can boast
of Miss Goodwin's capacity, and goodness of temper, which have enabled
her to get up a good deal of _lost_ time, as I must call it; for her
first four years were a perfect blank, as far as I can find, just as
if the pretty dear was born the day she was four years old; for what
she had to _unlearn_ as to temper, and will, and such things, set
against what little improvements she had made, might very fairly be
compounded for, as a blank.
I would indeed have a girl brought up to her needle, but I would not
have _all_ her time employed in samplers, and learning to mark, and
do those unnecessary things, which she will never, probably, be called
upon to practise.
And why, pray, are not girls entitled to the same _first_ education,
though not to the same plays and diversions, as boys; so far, at
least, as is supposed by Mr. Locke a mother can instruct them?
Would not this lay a foundation for their future improvement, and
direct their inclinations to useful subjects, such as would make them
above the imputations of some unkind gentlemen, who allot to their
part common tea-table prattle, while they do all they can to make them
fit for nothing else, and then upbraid them for it? And would not the
men find us better and more suitable companions and assistants to them
in every useful purpose of life?--O that your lordly sex were all like
my dear Mr. B.--I don't mean that they should all take raw, uncouth,
unbred, lowly girls, as I was, from the cottage, and, destroying
all distinction, make such their wives; for there is a far greater
likelihood, that such a one, when she comes to be lifted up into so
dazzling a sphere, would have her head made giddy with her exaltation,
than that she would balance herself well in it: and to what a blot,
over all the fair page of a long life, would this little drop of dirty
ink spread itself! What a standing disreputation to the choice of a
gentleman!
But _this_ I mean, that after a gentleman had entered into the
marriage state with a young creature (saying nothing at all of birth
or descent) far inferior to him in learning, in parts, in knowledge of
the world, and in all the graces which make conversation agreeable and
improving, he would, as you do, endeavour to make her fit company for
himself, as he shall find she is _willing_ to improve, and _capable_
of improvement: that he would direct her taste, point out to her
proper subjects for her amusement and instruction; travel with her now
and then, a month in a year perhaps; and shew her the world, after he
has encouraged her to put herself forward at his own table, and at the
houses of his friends, and has seen, that she will not do him great
discredit any where. What obligations, and opportunities too, will
this give her to love and honour such a husband, every hour, more
and more! as she will see his wisdom in a thousand instances, and
experience his indulgence to her in ten thousand, to the praise of
his politeness, and the honour of them both!--And then, when select
parties of pleasure or business engaged him not abroad, in his home
conversation, to have him delight to instruct and open her views, and
inspire her with an ambition to enlarge her mind, and more and more
to excel! What an intellectual kind of married life would such persons
find theirs! And how suitable to the rules of policy and self-love in
the gentleman; for is not the wife, and are not her improvements, all
_his own_?--_Absolutely_, as I may say, _his own_? And does not every
excellence she can be adorned by, redound to her husband's honour
because she is his, even more than to _her own_!--In like manner as no
dishonour affects a man so much, as that which he receives from a bad
wife.
But where is such a gentleman as Mr. B. to be met with? Look round and
see where, with all the advantages of sex, of education, of travel,
of conversation in the open world, a gentleman of his abilities
to instruct and inform, is to be found? And there are others, who,
perhaps, will question the capacities or inclinations of our sex in
general, to improve in useful knowledge, were they to meet with such
kind instructors, either in the characters of parents or husbands.
As to the first, I grant, that it is not easy to find such a
gentleman: but for the second (if excusable in me, who am one of the
sex, and so may be thought partial to it), I could by comparisons
drawn from the gentlemen and ladies within the circle of my own
acquaintance, produce instances, which are so flagrantly in their
favour, as might make it suspected, that it is policy more than
justice, in those who would keep our sex unacquainted with that
more eligible turn of education, which gives the gentlemen so many
advantages over us in _that_; and which will shew, they have none at
all in _nature_ or _genius_.
I know you will pardon me, dear Sir; for you are so exalted above your
Pamela, by nature and education too, that you cannot apprehend any
inconvenience from bold comparisons. I will beg, therefore, to mention
a few instances among our friends, where the ladies, notwithstanding
their more cramped and confined education, make _more_ than an equal
figure with the gentlemen in all the graceful parts of conversation,
in spite of the contempts poured out upon our sex by some witty
gentlemen, whose writings I have in my eye.
To begin then with Mr. Murray, and Miss Damford that was; Mr. Murray
has the reputation of scholarship, and has travelled too; but how
infinitely is he surpassed in every noble and useful quality, and in
greatness of mind, and judgment, as well as wit, by the young lady I
have named! This we saw, when last at the Hall, in fifty instances,
where the gentleman was, you know, Sir, on a visit to Sir Simon and
his lady.
Next, dear Sir, permit me to observe, that my good Lord Davers, with
all his advantages, born a counsellor of the realm, and educated
accordingly, does not surpass his lady.
_My_ countess, as I delight to call her, and Lady Betty, her eldest
daughter, greatly surpassed the Earl and her eldest brother in every
point of knowledge, and even learning, as I may say, although both
ladies owe that advantage principally to their own cultivation and
acquirement.
Let me presume, Sir, to name Mr. H.: and when I _have_ named him,
shall we not be puzzled to find any where in our sex, one remove from
vulgar life, a woman that will not out-do Mr. H.?
Lady Darnford, upon all useful subjects, makes a much brighter figure
than Sir Simon, whose knowledge of the world has not yet made him
acquainted with himself.--Mr. Arthur excels not his lady.
Mrs. Towers, a maiden lady, is an over-match for half a dozen of
the neighbouring gentlemen I could name, in what is called wit and
politeness, and not inferior to any of them in judgment.
I could multiply such instances, were it needful, to the confutation
of that low, and I had almost said, _unmanly_ contempt, with which
a certain celebrated genius treats our sex in general in most of
his pieces, I have seen; particularly his _Letter of Advice to a new
married Lady_; so written, as must disgust, instead of instruct; and
looks more like the advice of an enemy to the _sex_, and a bitter one
too, than a friend to the _particular Lady_. But I ought to beg pardon
for this my presumption, for two reasons: first, because of the truly
admirable talents of this writer; and next, because we know not what
ladies the ingenious gentleman may have fallen among in his younger
days.
Upon the whole, therefore, I conclude, that Mr. B. is almost the only
gentleman, who excels _every_ lady that I have seen; so _greatly_
excels, that even the emanations of his excellence irradiate a
low cottage-born girl, and make her pass among ladies of birth and
education for somebody.
Forgive my pride, dear Sir; but it would be almost a crime in your
Pamela not to exult in the mild benignity of those rays, by which her
beloved Mr. B. endeavours to make her look up to his own sunny sphere:
while she, by the advantage only of his reflected glory, in _his_
absence, which makes a dark night to her, glides along with her paler
and fainter beaminess, and makes a distinguishing figure among such
lesser planets, as can only poorly twinkle and glimmer, for want of
the aid she boasts of.
I dare not, Sir, conjecture whence arises this more than parity in
the genius of the sexes, among the above persons, notwithstanding the
disparity of education, and the difference in the opportunities of
each. This might lead one into too proud a thought in favour of a sex
too contemptuously treated by some _other_ wits I could name, who,
indeed, are the less to be regarded, as they love to jest upon all God
Almighty's works: yet might I better do it, too, than anybody, since I
am so infinitely transcended by my husband, that no competition, pride
or vanity, could be apprehended from me.
But, however, I would only beg of those who are so free in their
contempts of us, that they would, for _their own sakes_ (and that,
with such generally goes a great way), rather try to _improve_ than
_depreciate_ us: we should then make better daughters, better wives,
better mothers, and better mistresses: and who (permit me, Sir, to
ask them) would be so much the better for these opportunities and
amendments, as our upbraiders themselves!
On re-perusing this, I must repeatedly beg your excuse for these proud
notions in behalf of my sex, which, I can truly say, are not owing to
partiality because, I have the honour to be one of it; but to a far
better motive; for what does this contemptuous treatment of one half,
if not the better half, of the human species, naturally produce, but
libertinism and abandoned wickedness? for does it not tend to make
the daughters, the sisters, the wives of gentlemen, the subjects of
profligate attempts?--Does it not render the sex vile in the eyes of
the most vile? And when a lady is no longer beheld by such persons
with that dignity and reverence, with which perhaps, the graces of her
person, and the innocence of her mind, should sacredly, as it were,
encompass her, do not her very excellencies become so many incentives
for base wretches to attempt her virtue, and bring about her ruin?
What then may not wicked wit have to answer for, when its possessors
prostitute it to such unmanly purposes! And as if they had never had
a mother, a sister, a daughter of their own, throw down, as much as in
them lies, those sacred fences which may lay the fair inclosure open
to the invasions of every clumsier and viler beast of prey; who,
though destitute of _their_ wit, yet corrupted by it, shall fill
their mouths, as well as their hearts, with the borrowed mischief,
and propagate it from one to another to the end of time; and who,
otherwise, would have passed by the uninvaded fence, and only shewed
their teeth, and snarled at the well secured fold within it?
You cannot, my dearest Mr. B., I know be angry at this romantic
painting: since you are not affected by it: for when at worst,
you acted (more dangerously, 'tis true, for the poor innocents) a
_principal_ part, and were as a lion among beasts--Do, dear Sir, let
me say _among_, this one time--You scorned to borrow any man's wit;
and if nobody had followed your example, till they had had your
qualities, the number of rakes would have been but small. Yet, don't
mistake me, neither; I am not so mean as to bespeak your favour by
extenuating your failings; if I _were_, you would deservedly despise
me. For, undoubtedly (I _must_ say it, Sir), your faults were the
greater for your perfections: and such talents misapplied, as they
made you more capable of mischief, so did they increase the evil of
your practices. All then that I mean by saying you are not affected
by this painting, is, that you are not affected by my description
of clumsy and sordid rakes, whose _wit_ is _borrowed_, and their
_wickedness_ only what they may call _their own_.
Then, dear Sir, since that noble conversation you held with me at
Tunbridge, in relation to the consequences that might, had it not been
for God's grace intervening, have followed the masquerade affair, I
have the inexpressible pleasure to find a thorough reformation, from
the _best_ motives, taking place; and your joining with me in my
closet (as opportunity permits) in my evening duties, is the charming
confirmation of your kind and voluntary, and I am proud to
say, _pious_ assurances; so that this makes me fearless of your
displeasure, while I rather triumph in my joy for your precious soul's
sake, than presume to think of recriminating; and when (only for this
once) I take the liberty of looking back from the delightful _now_, to
the painful _formerly!_
But, what a rambler am I again! You command me to write to you all
I think, without fear. I obey, and, as the phrase is, do it without
either _fear_ or _wit_.
If you are _not_ displeased, it is a mark of the true nobleness of
your nature, and the sincerity of your late pious declarations.
If you _are_, I shall be sure I have done wrong in having applied a
corrosive to eat away the _proud flesh_ of a _wound_, that is not
yet so thoroughly _digested_, as to bear a painful application, and
requires balsam and a gentler treatment. But when we were at Bath, I
remember what you said once of the benefit of retrospection: and you
charged me, whenever a _proper_ opportunity offered, to remind you,
by that one word, _retrospection_, of the charming conversation we had
there, on our return from the rooms.
If this be not one of them, forgive, dearest Sir, the unreasonableness
of your very impertinent, but, in intention and resolution, _ever
dutiful_,
P.B.
LETTER XCVIII
_From Mrs. B. to her Father and Mother_
EVER DEAR, AND EVER HONOURED,
I must write this one letter, although I have had the happiness to see
you so lately; because Mr. B. is now about to honour me with the
tour he so kindly promised; and it may therefore be several months,
perhaps, before I have again the pleasure of paying you the like
dutiful respects.
You know his kind promise, that he would for every dear baby I present
him with, take an excursion with me afterwards, in order to establish
and confirm my health.
The task I have undertaken of dedicating all my writing amusements
to the dearest of men; the full employment I have, when at home; the
frequent rambles he has so often indulged me in, with my dear Miss
Goodwin, to Kent, London, Bedfordshire, Lincolnshire, and to my lady
Davers, take from me the necessity of writing to you, to my Miss
Damford that was, and to Lady Davers, so often as I formerly thought
myself obliged to do, when I saw all my worthy friends so seldom; the
same things, moreover, with little variation, occurring this year, as
to our conversations, visits, friends, employments, and amusements,
that fell out the last, as must be the case in a family so uniform and
methodical as ours.
I have for these reasons, more leisure to pursue my domestic duties,
which are increased upon me; and when I have said, that I am every day
more and more happy in my beloved Mr. B., in Miss Goodwin, my Billy,
my Davers, and now, newly, in my sweet little Pamela (for so, you
know, Lady Davers would have her called, rather than by her own name),
what can I say more?
As to the tour I spoke of, you know, the first part of Mr. B.'s
obliging scheme is to carry me to France; for he has already travelled
with me over the greatest part of England; and I am sure, by my
passage last year, to the Isle of Wight, I shall not be afraid of
crossing the water from Dover thither; and he will, when we are
at Paris, he says, take _my_ farther directions (that was his kind
expression) whither to go next.
My Lord and Lady Davers are so good as to promise to accompany us to
Paris, provided Mr. B. will give them our company to Aix-la-Chapelle,
for a month or six weeks, whither my lord is advised to go. And Mr.
H. if he can get over his fear of crossing the salt water, is to be of
the party.
Lady G., Miss Damford that was (who likewise has lately lain-in of a
fine daughter), and I, are to correspond as opportunity offers; and
she promises to send you what I write, as formerly: but I have refused
to say one word in my letters of the manners, customs, curiosities,
&c. of the places we see; because, first, I shall not have leisure;
and, next, those things are so much better described in books written
by persons who made stricter and better observations that I can
pretend to make: so that what I shall write will relate only to our
private selves, and be as brief as possible.
If we are to do as Mr. B. has it in his thoughts, he intends to be
out of England two years:--but how can I bear that, if for your sakes
only, and for those of my dear babies!--But this must be my time,
my _only_ time, Mr. B. says, to ramble and see distant places
and countries; for as soon as his little ones are capable of my
instructions, and begin to understand my looks and signs, he will not
spare me from them a week together; and he is so kind as to propose,
that my dear bold boy (for every one sees how greatly he resembles his
papa in his dear forward spirit) shall go with us; and this pleases
Miss Goodwin highly, who is very fond of _him_, and my little Davers;
but vows she will never love so well my pretty black-eyed Pamela.
You see what a sweet girl Miss is, and you admired her much: did I
tell you, what she said to me, when first she saw you both, with your
silver hairs, and reverend countenances?--"Madam, I dare say, your
papa, and mamma, _honoured their father and mother_:"--"They did, my
dear; but what is your reason for saying so?"--"Because _they have
lived so long in the land which the LORD their GOD has given them_."
I took the charmer in my arms, and kissed her three or four times, as
she deserved; for was not this very pretty in the child?
I must, with inexpressible pleasure, write you word how happily God's
providence has now, at last, turned that affair, which once made me
so uneasy, in relation to the fine Countess (who has been some time
abroad), of whom you had heard, as you told me, some reports, which,
had you known at the time, would have made you very apprehensive for
Mr. B.'s morals, as well as for my repose.
I will now (because I can do it with the highest pleasure, by reason
of the event it has produced), explain that dark affair so far as
shall make you judges of my present joy: although I had hitherto
avoided entering into that subject to you. For now I think myself,
by God's grace, secure to the affection and fidelity of the best of
husbands, and that from the worthiest motives; as you shall hear.
There was but one thing wanting to complete all the happiness I wished
for in this life; which was, the remote hope I had entertained, that
one day, my dear Mr. B. who from a licentious gentleman became a
moralist, would be so touched by the divine grace, as to become in
time, more than moral, a religious man, and, at last, join in the
duties which he had the goodness to countenance.
For this reason I began with mere _indispensables_. I crowded not
his gates with objects of charity: I visited them at their homes,
and relieved them; distinguishing the worthy indigent (made so
by unavoidable accidents and casualties) from the wilfully, or
perversely, or sottishly such, by _greater_ marks of my favour.
I confined my morning and evening devotions to my own private closet,
lest I should give offence and discouragement to so gay a temper, so
unaccustomed (poor gentleman!) to acts of devotion and piety; whilst
I met his household together, only on mornings and evenings of the
Sabbath-day, to prepare them for their public duties in the one,
and in hopes to confirm them in what they had heard at church in the
other; leaving them to their own reflections for the rest of the week;
after I had suggested a method I wished them to follow, and in which
they constantly obliged me.
This good order had its desired effect, and our Sabbath-day assemblies
were held with so little parade, that we were hardly any of us missed.
All, in short, was done with cheerful ease and composure: and every
one of us was better disposed to our domestic duties: I, to attend the
good pleasure of my best friend; and they, that of us both.
Thus we went on very happily, my neighbourly visits of charity, taking
up no more time than common airings, and passing many of them for
such; my private duties being only between my FIRST, my HEAVENLY
BENEFACTOR, and myself, and my family ones personally confined to the
day separated for these best of services, and Mr. B. pleased with my
manner beheld the good effects, and countenanced me by his praises and
his endearments, as acting discreetly, as not falling into enthusiasm,
and (as he used to say) as not aiming at being _righteous overmuch_.
But still I wanted, and waited for, with humble patience, and made it
part of my constant prayers, that the divine Grace would at last touch
his heart, and make him _more_ than a countenancer, _more_ than an
applauder of my duties; that he might for his own dear sake, become a
partaker in them. "And then," thought I, "when we can, hand in hand,
heart in heart, one spirit as well as one flesh, join in the same
closet, in the same prayers and thanksgiving, what a happy creature
shall I be."
I say, _closet_: for I durst not aspire so high, as to hope the favour
of his company among his servants, in our Sunday devotions.--I knew
it would be going too far, in _his_ opinion, to expect it from him. In
_me_ their mistress, had I been ever so high-born, it was not amiss,
because I, and they, _every one_ of us, were _his_; I in one degree,
Mr. Longman in another, Mrs. Jervis in another--But from a man of his
high temper and manner of education, I knew I could never hope for it,
so would not lose _every_ thing, by grasping at _too much_.
But in the midst of all these comfortable proceedings, and my further
charming hopes, a nasty masquerade threw into his way a temptation,
which for a time blasted all my prospects, and indeed made me doubt
my own head almost. For, judge my disappointment, when I found all
my wishes frustrated, all my prayers rendered ineffectual; his very
morality, which I had flattered myself, in time, I should be an humble
instrument to exalt into religion, shocked, and in danger; and all the
work to begin over again, if offended Grace should ever again offer
itself to the dear wilful trespasser!
But who should pretend to scrutinize the councils of the
Almighty?--for out of all this _evil appearance_ was to proceed the
_real good_, I had been so long, and so often, supplicating for!
The dear man _was_ to be on the brink of relapsing: it was proper,
that I should be so very uneasy, as to assume a conduct not natural to
my temper, and to raise his generous concern for me: and, in the very
crisis, divine Grace interposed, made him sensible of his danger, made
him resolve against his error, before it was yet too late: and his
sliding feet, quitting the slippery path he was in, collected new
strength, and he stood the firmer and more secure for his peril.
For having happily put a stop to that affair, and by his uniform
conduct, for a considerable time, shewed me that I had nothing to
apprehend from it, he was pleased, when we were last at Tunbridge, and
in very serious discourse upon divine subjects, to say to this effect:
"Is there not, my Pamela, a text, _That the unbelieving husband
shall be saved by the believing wife, whilst he beholds her chaste
conversation coupled with fear?_"
"I need not tell you, my dear Mr. B., that there is, nor where it is."
"Then, my dear, I begin to hope, _that_ will be my case; for, from a
former affair, of which this spot of ground puts me more in mind, I
see so much reason to doubt my own strength, which I had built, and,
as I thought securely, on _moral_ foundations, that I must look out
for a _better_ guide to conduct me, than the proud word _honour_ can
be, in the general acceptance of it among us lively young gentlemen.
"How often have I promised (and I never promised but I intended
to perform) that I would be faithfully and only yours! How often
declared, that I did not think I could possibly deserve my Pamela,
till I could shew her, in my own mind, a purity as nearly equal to
hers, as my past conduct would admit of!
"But I depended too much upon my own strength: and I am now convinced,
that nothing but RELIGIOUS CONSIDERATIONS, and a resolution to watch
over the very _first_ appearances of evil, and to check them as they
arise, can be of sufficient weight to keep steady to his good purpose,
a vain young man, too little accustomed to restraint, and too much
used to play upon the brink of dangers, from a temerity, and love of
intrigue, natural to enterprising minds.
"I would not make this declaration of my convictions to you, till I
had thoroughly examined myself, and had reason to hope, that I should
be enabled to make it good. And now, my Pamela, from this instant
you shall be my guide; and, only taking care, that you do not, all
at once, by injunctions too rigorous, damp and discourage the rising
flame, I will leave it to you to direct as you please, till, by
degrees, it may be deemed worthy to mingle with your own."
Judge how rapturous my joy was upon this occasion, and how ready I
was to bless God for a danger (so narrowly escaped) which was attended
with the _very_ consequences that I had so long prayed for; and which
I little thought the divine providence was bringing about by the very
means, that, I apprehended, would put an end to all my pleasing hopes
and prospects of that nature.
It is in vain for me to seek words to express what I felt, and how
I acted, on this occasion. I heard him out with twenty different and
impatient emotions; and then threw myself at his feet, embracing
his knees, with arms the most ardently clasped! My face lifted up to
Heaven, and to him, by turns; my eyes overflowing with tears of joy,
which half choked up the passage of my words.--At last, his kind arms
clasping my neck, and kissing my tearful cheek, I could only say--"My
ardent prayers, are at last-heard--May God Almighty confirm your pious
purposes! And, Oh I what a happy Pamela have you at your feet!"
I wept for joy till I sobbed again--and he raising me to his kind
arms, I said--"To have this _heavenly_ prospect, O best beloved of my
heart! added to all my _earthly_ blessings!--How shall I contain
my joy!--For, oh! to think that he is, and will be mine, and I his,
through the mercies of God, when this transitory life is past and
gone, to all eternity; what a rich thought is this!--Methinks I am
already, dear Sir, ceasing to be mortal, and beginning to taste the
perfections of those joys, which this thrice welcome declaration gives
me hope of hereafter!--But what shall I say, obliged as I was beyond
expression before, and now doubly obliged in the rapturous view you
have opened to me, into a happy futurity!"
He said, he was delighted with me beyond expression; that I was his
ecstatic charmer!--That the love I shewed for his future good was the
moving proof of the purity of my heart, and my affection for him. And
that very evening he joined with me in my retired duties; and, at all
proper opportunities, favours me with his company in the same manner;
listening attentively to all my lessons, as he calls my cheerful
discourses on serious subjects.
And now, my dear parents, do you not rejoice with me in this charming,
charming appearance? For, _before_ I had the most generous, the most
beneficent, the most noble, the most affectionate, but _now_ I am
likely to have the most _pious_, of husbands! What a happy wife, what
a happy daughter, is _his_ and _your_ Pamela! God of his infinite
mercy, continue and improve the ravishing prospect!
I was forced to leave off here, to enjoy the charming reflections,
which this lovely subject, and my blessed prospects, filled me with;
and now proceed to write a few lines more.
I am under some concern on account of our going to travel into
some Roman Catholic countries, for fear we should want the public
opportunities of divine service: for I presume, the ambassador's
chapel will be the only Protestant place of worship allowed of,
and Paris the only city in France where there is one. But we must
endeavour to make it up in our private and domestic duties: for, as
the phrase is--"When we are at Rome, we must do as they do at Rome;"
that is to say, so far as not to give offence, on the one hand, to the
people we are among; nor scandal, on the other, by compliances hurtful
to one's conscience. But my protector knows all these things so well
(no place in what is called the grand tour, being new to him), that I
have no reason to be very uneasy.
And now let me, by letter, as I did on my knees at parting, beg the
continuance of your prayers and blessings, and that God will preserve
us to one another, and give us, and all our worthy friends, a happy
meeting again.
Kent, you may be sure, will be our first visit, on our return, for
your sakes, for my dear Davers's, and my little Pamela's sake, who
will be both put into your protection; while my Billy, and Miss
Goodwin (for, since I began this letter, it is so determined), are
to be my delightful companions; for Mr. B. declared, his temper
wants looking after, and his notices of every thing are strong and
significant.
Poor little dear! he has indeed a little sort of perverseness and
headstrongness, as one may say, in his will: yet he is but a baby, and
I hope to manage him pretty well; for he notices all I say, and every
look of mine already.--He is, besides, very good humoured, and willing
to part with anything for a kind word: and this gives me hopes of a
docile and benevolent disposition, as he grows up.
I thought, when I began the last paragraph but one, that I was within
a line of concluding; but it is _to_ you, and _of_ my babies, I am
writing; so shall go on to the bottom of this new sheet, if I do not
directly finish: which I do, with assuring you both, that wherever
I am, I shall always be thoughtful of you, and remember you in my
prayers, as becomes _your ever dutiful daughter_, P.B.
My respects to all your good neighbours in general. Mr. Longman will
visit you now and then. Mrs. Jervis will take one journey into Kent,
she says, and it shall be to accompany my babies, when carried down
to you. Poor Jonathan, and she, good folks! seem declining in their
health, which grieves me.--Once more, God send us all a happy meeting,
if it be his blessed will! Adieu, adieu, my dear parents! _your ever
dutiful, &c._
LETTER XCIX
My Dear Lady G.,
I received your last letter at Paris, as we were disposing every thing
for our return to England, after an absence of near two years; in
which, as I have informed you, from time to time, I have been a
great traveller, into Holland, the Netherlands, through the most
considerable province of France, into Italy; and, in our return to
Paris again (the principal place of our residence), through several
parts of Germany.
I told you of the favours and civilities we received at Florence, from
the then Countess Dowager of----, who, with her humble servant Lord
C----(that had so assiduously attended her for so many months in
Italy), accompanied us from Florence to Inspruck.
Her ladyship made that worthy lord happy in about a month after she
parted from us, and the noble pair gave us an opportunity at Paris,
in their way to England, to return some of the civilities which
we received from them in Italy; and they are now arrived at her
ladyship's seat on the Forest.
Her lord is exceedingly fond of her, as he well may; for she is one of
the most charming ladies in England; and behaves to him with so much
prudence and respect, that they are as happy in each other as can be
wished. And let me just add, that both in Italy and at Paris, Mr. B.'s
demeanour and her ladyship's to one another, was so nobly open, and
unaffectedly polite, as well as highly discreet, that neither Lord C.
who had once been jealous of Mr. B. nor the _other party_, who had
had a tincture of the same yellow evil, as you know, because of the
Countess, had so much as a shadow of uneasiness remaining on the
occasion.
Lord Davers has had his health (which had begun to decline in England)
so well, that there was no persuading Lady Davers to return before
now, although I begged and prayed I might not have another little
Frenchman, for fear they should, as they grew up, forget, as I
pleasantly used to say, the obligations which their parentage lays
them under to dearer England.
And now, my dearest friend, I have shut up my rambles for my whole
life; for three little English folks, and one little Frenchman (but
a charming baby as well as the rest, Charley by name), and a near
prospect of a further increase, you will say, are family enough to
employ all my cares at home.
I have told you, from time to time, although I could not write to you
so often as I would, because of our being constantly in motion, what
was most worthy of your knowledge relating to every particular, and
how happy we all have been in one another. And I have the pleasure to
confirm to you what I have often written, that Mr. B. and my Lord and
Lady Davers are all that I could wish and hope for, with regard to
their first duties. We are indeed a happy family, united by the best
and most solid ties!
Miss Goodwin is a charming young lady!--I cannot express how much I
love her. She is a perfect mistress of the French language and speaks
Italian very prettily! And, as to myself, I have improved so well
under my dear tutor's lessons, together with the opportunity of
conversing with the politest and most learned gentry of different
nations, that I will discourse with you in two or three languages, if
you please, when I have the happiness to see you. There's a learned
boaster for you, my dear friend! (if the knowledge of different
languages makes one learned.)--But I shall bring you an heart as
entirely English as ever, for all that!
We landed on Thursday last at Dover, and directed our course to the
dear farm-house; and you can better imagine, than I express, our
meeting with my dear father and mother, and my beloved Davers and
Pamela, who are charming babies.--But is not this the language of
every fond mamma?
Miss Goodwin is highly delighted now with my sweet little Pamela, and
says, she shall be her sister indeed! "For, Madam," said she, "Miss
is a beauty!--And we see no French beauties like Master Davers and
Miss."--"Beauty! my dear," said I; "what is beauty, if she be not
a good girl? Beauty is but a specious, and, as it may happen, a
dangerous recommendation, a mere skin-deep perfection; and if, as she
grows up, she is not as good as Miss Goodwin, she shall be none of my
girl."
What adds to my pleasure, my dear friend, is to see them both so well
got over the small-pox. It has been as happy for them, as it was for
their mamma and her Billy, that they had it under so skilful and kind
a manager in that distemper, as my dear mother. I wish if it please
God, it was as happily over with my little pretty Frenchman.
Every body is surprised to see what the past two years have done for
Miss Goodwin and my Billy.--O, my dear friend, they are both of them
almost--nay, quite, I think, for their years, all that I wish them
to be. In order to make them keep their French, which Miss so well
speaks, and Billy so prettily prattles, I oblige them, when they
are in the nursery, to speak nothing else: but at table, except on
particular occasions, when French may be spoken, they are to speak
in English; that is, when they do speak: for I tell them, that little
masters must only ask questions for information, and say--"Yes,"
or--"No," till their papas or mammas permit them to speak; nor little
ladies neither, till they are sixteen; for--"My dear loves," cry I,
"you would not speak before you know _how_; and knowledge is obtained
by _hearing_, and not by _speaking_." And setting my Billy on my lap,
in Miss's presence--"Here," said I, taking an ear in the fingers of
each hand, "are two ears, my Billy," and then, pointing to his mouth,
"but one tongue, my love; so you must be sure to mind that you _hear_
twice as much as you _speak_, even when you grow a bigger master than
you are now."
"You have so many pretty ways to learn one, Madam," says Miss, now and
then, "that it is impossible we should not regard what you say to us!"
Several French tutors, when we were abroad, were recommended to Mr. B.
But there is one English gentleman, now on his travels with young Mr.
R. with whom Mr. B. has agreed; and in the mean time, my best friend
is pleased to compliment me, that the children will not suffer for
want of a tutor, while I can take the pains I do: which he will have
to be too much for me: especially that now, on our return, my Davers
and my Pamela are added to my cares. But what mother can take too much
pains to cultivate the minds of her children?--If, my dear Lady G.,
it were not for these _frequent_ lyings-in!--But this is the time
of life.--Though little did I think, so early, I should have so many
careful blessings!
I have as great credit as pleasure from my little family. All our
neighbours here admire us more and more. You'll excuse my seeming
(for it is but seeming) vanity: I hope I know better than to have it
real--"Never," says Mrs. Towers, who is still a single lady, "did
I see, before, a lady so much advantaged by her residence in that
fantastic nation" (for she loves not the French) "who brought home
with her nothing of their affectation!"--She says, that the French
politeness, and the English frankness and plainness of heart, appear
happily blended in all we say and do. And she makes me a thousand
compliments upon Lord and Lady Davers's account, who, she would
fain persuade me, owe a great deal of improvement (my lord in his
conversation, and my lady in her temper) to living in the same house
with us.
My Lady Davers is exceeding kind and good to me, is always magnifying
me to every body, and says she knows not how to live from me: and that
I have been a means of saving half a hundred souls, as well as her
dear brother's. On an indisposition of my Lord's at Montpellier, which
made her very apprehensive, she declared, that were she to be deprived
of his lordship, she would not let us rest till we had consented to
her living with us; saying that we had room enough in Lincolnshire,
and she would enlarge the Bedfordshire seat at her own expense.
Mr. H. is Mr. H. still; and that's the best I can say of him; for I
verily think, he is more of an ape than ever. His _whole_ head is now
French. 'Twas _half_ so before. We had great difficulties with
him abroad: his aunt and I endeavouring to give him a serious and
religious turn, we had like to have turned him into a Roman Catholic.
For he was much pleased with the shewy part of that religion, and the
fine pictures, and decorations in the churches of Italy; and having
got into company with a Dominican at Padua, a Franciscan at Milan, and
a Jesuit at Paris, they lay so hard at him, in their turns, that we
had like to have lost him to each assailant: so were forced to let him
take his own course; for, his aunt would have it, that he had no
other defence from the attacks of persons to make him embrace a faulty
religion, than to permit him to continue as he was; that is to say,
to have none at all. So she suspended attempting to proselyte the
thoughtless creature, till he came to England. I wish her success
here: but, I doubt, he will not be a credit to any religion, for a
great while. And as he is very desirous to go to London, it will be
found, when there, that any fluttering coxcomb will do more to make
him one of that class, in an hour, than his aunt's lessons, to make
him a good man, in a twelvemonth. "_Where much is given, much is
required_." The contrary of this, I doubt, is all poor Mr. H. has to
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