The Expedition of Humphry Clinker
by
Tobias Smollett
Part 8 out of 8
exceedingly docile, and as good-natured as her husband Jack
Wilson; so that a friendship ensued among the women, which hath
continued to this day.
'As for Jack, he hath been my constant companion, counsellor, and
commissary. -- I would not for a hundred pounds you should leave my
house without seeing him. -- Jack is an universal genius -- his
talents are really astonishing: -- He is an excellent carpenter,
joiner, and turner, and a cunning artist in iron and brass. -- He
not only superintended my oeconomy, but also presided over my
pastimes -- He taught me to brew beer, to make cyder, perry, mead,
usquebaugh, and plague-water; to cook several outlandish
delicacies, such as ollas, pepper-pots, pillaws, corys, chabobs,
and stufatas. -- He understands all manner of games from chess down
to chuck-farthing, sings a good song, plays upon the violin, and
dances a hornpipe with surprising agility. -- He and I walked, and
rode, and hunted, and fished together, without minding the
vicissitudes of the weather; and I am persuaded, that in a raw,
moist climate, like this of England, continual exercise is as
necessary as food to the preservation of the individual. -- In the
course of two and twenty years, there has not been one hour's
interruption or abatement in the friendship subsisting between
Wilson's family and mine; and, what is a rare instance of good
fortune, that friendship is continued to our children. -- His son
and mine are nearly of the same age and the same disposition;
they have been bred up together at the same school and college,
and love each other with the warmest affection.
'By Wilson's means, I likewise formed an acquaintance with a
sensible physician, who lives in the next market-town; and his
sister, an agreeable old maiden, passed the Christmas holidays at
our house. Mean while I began my farming with great eagerness,
and that very winter planted these groves that please you so
much. -- As for the neighbouring gentry, I had no trouble from that
quarter during my first campaign; they were all gone to town
before I settled in the country; and by the summer I had taken
measures to defend myself from their attacks. -- When a gay
equipage came to my gates, I was never at home; those who visited
me in a modest way, I received; and according to the remarks I
made on their characters and conversation, either rejected their
advances, or returned their civility -- I was in general despised
among the fashionable company, as a low fellow, both in breeding
and circumstances; nevertheless, I found a few individuals of
moderate fortune, who gladly adopted my stile of living; and many
others would have acceded to our society, had they not been
prevented by the pride, envy, and ambition of their wives and
daughters. -- Those, in times of luxury and dissipation, are the
rocks upon which all the small estates in the country are
wrecked.
'I reserved in my own hands, some acres of ground adjacent to the
house, for making experiments in agriculture, according to the
directions of Lyle, Tull, Hart, Duhamel, and others who have
written on this subject; and qualified their theory with the
practical observations of farmer Bland, who was my great master
in the art of husbandry. -- In short, I became enamoured of a
country life; and my success greatly exceeded my expectation -- I
drained bogs, burned heath, grubbed up furze and fern; I planted
copse and willows where nothing else would grow; I gradually
inclosed all my farms, and made such improvements that my estate
now yields me clear twelve hundred pounds a year -- All this time
my wife and I have enjoyed uninterrupted health, and a regular
flow of spirits, except on a very few occasions, when our
cheerfulness was invaded by such accidents as are inseparable
from the condition of life. I lost two children in their infancy,
by the small-pox, so that I have one son only, in whom all our
hopes are centered. -- He went yesterday to visit a friend, with
whom he has stayed all night, but he will be here to dinner. -- I
shall this day have the pleasure of presenting him to you and
your family; and I flatter myself you will find him not
altogether unworthy of our affection.
'The truth is, either I am blinded by the partiality of a parent,
or he is a boy of very amiable character; and yet his conduct has
given us unspeakable disquiet. -- You must know, we had projected a
match between him and a gentleman's daughter in the next county,
who will in all probability be heiress of a considerable fortune;
but, it seems, he had a personal disgust to the alliance.
He was then at Cambridge, and tried to gain time on various
pretences; but being pressed in letters by his mother and me to
give a definitive answer, he fairly gave his tutor the slip, and
disappeared about eight months ago. -- Before he took this rash
step, he wrote me a letter, explaining his objections to the
match, and declaring, that he would keep himself concealed until
he should understand that his parents would dispense with his
contracting an engagement that must make him miserable for life,
and he prescribed the form of advertising in a certain newspaper,
by which he might be apprized of our sentiments on this subject.
'You may easily conceive how much we were alarmed and afflicted
by this elopement, which he had made without dropping the least
hint to his companion Charles Wilson, who belonged to the same
college. -- We resolved to punish him with the appearance of
neglect, in hopes that he would return of his own accord; but he
maintained his purpose till the young lady chose a partner for
herself; then he produced himself, and made his peace by the
mediation of Wilson. -- Suppose we should unite our families by
joining him with your niece, who is one of the most lovely
creatures I ever beheld. -- My wife is already as fond of her as if
she were her own child, and I have a presentiment that my son
will be captivated by her at first sight.' 'Nothing could be more
agreeable to all our family (said I) than such an alliance; but,
my dear friend, candour obliges me to tell you, that I am afraid
Liddy's heart is not wholly disengaged -- there is a cursed
obstacle' -- 'You mean the young stroller at Gloucester (said he) --
You are surprised that I should know this circumstance; but you
will be more surprised when I tell you that stroller is no other
than my son George Dennison -- That was the character he assumed in
his eclipse.' 'I am, indeed, astonished and overjoyed (cried I),
and shall be happy beyond expression to see your proposal take
effect.'
He then gave me to understand that the young gentleman, at his
emerging from concealment, had disclosed his passion for Miss
Melford, the niece of Mr Bramble, of Monmouthshire. Though Mr
Dennison little dreamed that this was his old friend Matthew
Loyd, he nevertheless furnished his son with proper credentials,
and he had been at Bath, London, and many other places in quest
of us, to make himself and his pretensions known.
The bad success of his enquiry had such an effect upon his
spirits, that immediately at his return he was seized with a
dangerous fever, which overwhelmed his parents with terror and
affliction; but he was now happily recovered, though still weak
and disconsolate. My nephew joining us in our walk, I informed
him of these circumstances, with which he was wonderfully
pleased. He declared he would promote the match to the utmost of
his power, and that he longed to embrace young Mr Dennison as his
friend and brother. -- Mean while, the father went to desire his
wife to communicate this discovery gradually to Liddy, that her
delicate nerves might not suffer too sudden a shock; and I
imparted the particulars to my sister Tabby, who expressed some
surprize, not altogether unmixed, I believe, with an emotion of
envy; for, though she could have no objection to an alliance at
once so honourable and advantageous, she hesitated in giving her
consent on pretence of the youth and inexperience of the parties:
at length, however, she acquiesced, in consequence of having
consulted with captain Lismahago.
Mr Dennison took care to be in the way when his son arrived at
the gate, and, without giving him time or opportunity to make any
enquiry about the strangers, brought him up stairs to be
presented to Mr Loyd and his family -- The first person he saw when
he entered the room, was Liddy, who, notwithstanding all her
preparation, stood trembling in the utmost confusion -- At sight of
this object he was fixed motionless to the floor, and, gazing at
her with the utmost eagerness of astonishment, exclaimed, 'Sacred
heaven! what is this! -- ha! wherefore --' Here his speech failing,
he stood straining his eyes, in the most emphatic silence 'George
(said his father), this is my friend Mr Loyd.' Roused at this
intimation, he turned and received my salute, when I said, 'Young
gentleman, if you had trusted me with your secret at our last
meeting, we should have parted upon better terms.' Before he
could make any answer, Jery came round and stood before him with
open arms. -- At first, he started and changed colour; but after a
short pause, he rushed into his embrace, and they hugged one
another as if they had been intimate friends from their infancy:
then he payed his respects to Mrs Tabitha, and advancing to
Liddy, 'Is it possible, (cried he), that my senses do not play me
false! that I see Miss Melford under my father's roof -- that I am
permitted to speak to her without giving offence -- and that her
relations have honoured me with their countenance and
protection.' Liddy blushed, and trembled, and faltered -- 'To be
sure, sir (said she), it is a very surprising circumstance -- a
great -- a providential - -I really know not what I say -- but I beg
you will think I have said what's agreeable.'
Mrs Dennison interposing said, 'Compose yourselves, my dear
children. -- Your mutual happiness shall be our peculiar care.' The
son going up to his mother, kissed one hand; my niece bathed the
other with her tears; and the good old lady pressed them both in
their turns to her breast. -- The lovers were too much affected to
get rid of their embarrassment for one day; but the scene was
much enlivened by the arrival of Jack Wilson, who brought, as
usual, some game of his own killing -- His honest countenance was a
good letter of recommendation. I received him like a dear friend
after a long separation; and I could not help wondering to see
him shake Jery by the hand as an old acquaintance -- They had,
indeed, been acquainted some days, in consequence of a diverting
incident, which I shall explain at meeting. That same night a
consultation was held upon the concerns of the lovers, when the
match was formally agreed to, and all the marriage articles were
settled without the least dispute. -- My nephew and I promised to
make Liddy's fortune five thousand pounds. Mr Dennison declared,
he would make over one half of his estate immediately to his son,
and that his daughter-in-law should be secured in a jointure of
four hundred -- Tabby proposed, that, considering their youth, they
should undergo one year at least, of probation before the
indissoluble knot should be tied; but the young gentleman being
very impatient and importunate, and the scheme implying that the
young couple should live in the house, under the wings of his
parents, we resolved to make them happy without further delay.
As the law requires that the parties should be some weeks
resident in the parish, we shall stay here till the ceremony is
performed. -- Mr Lismahago requests that he may take the benefit of
the same occasion; so that next Sunday the banns will be
published for all four together. -- I doubt I shall not be able to
pass my Christmas with you at Brambleton-hall. -- Indeed, I am so
agreeably situated in this place, that I have no desire to shift
my quarters; and I foresee, that when the day of separation
comes, there will be abundance of sorrow on all sides. -- In the
mean time, we must make the most of those blessings which Heaven
bestows. -- Considering how you are tethered by your profession, I
cannot hope to see you so far from home; yet the distance does
not exceed a summer-day's journey, and Charles Dennison, who
desires to be remembered to you, would be rejoiced to see his old
compotator; but as I am now stationary, I expect regular answers
to the epistles of
Yours invariably,
MATT. BRAMBLE
Oct. 11.
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. at Oxon.
DEAR WAT,
Every day is now big with incident and discovery -- Young Mr
Dennison proves to be no other than that identical person whom I
have execrated so long, under the name of Wilson -- He had eloped
from college at Cambridge, to avoid a match that he detested, and
acted in different parts of the country as a stroller, until the
lady in question made choice of a husband for herself; then he
returned to his father, and disclosed his passion for Liddy,
which met with the approbation of his parents, though the father
little imagined that Mr Bramble was his old companion Matthew
Loyd. The young gentleman, being impowered to make honourable
proposals to my uncle and me, had been in search of us all over
England, without effect; and he it was whom I had seen pass on
horseback by the window of the inn, where I stood with my sister,
but he little dreamed that we were in the house -- As for the real
Mr Wilson, whom I called forth to combat, by mistake, he is the
neighbour and intimate friend of old Mr Dennison, and this
connexion had suggested to the son the idea of taking that name
while he remained in obscurity.
You may easily conceive what pleasure I must have felt on
discovering that the honour of our family was in no danger from
the conduct of a sister whom I love with uncommon affection;
that, instead of debasing her sentiments and views to a wretched
stroller, she had really captivated the heart of a gentleman, her
equal in rank and superior in fortune; and that, as his parents
approved of his attachment, I was on the eve of acquiring a
brother-in-law so worthy of my friendship and esteem. George
Dennison is, without all question, one of the most accomplished
young fellows in England. His person is at once elegant and
manly, and his understanding highly cultivated. Tho' his spirit
is lofty, his heart is kind; and his manner so engaging, as to
command veneration and love, even from malice and indifference.
When I weigh my own character with his, I am ashamed to find
myself so light in the balance; but the comparison excites no
envy -- I propose him as a model for imitation -- I have endeavoured
to recommend myself to his friendship, and hope I have already
found a place in his affection. I am, however, mortified to
reflect what flagrant injustice we every day commit, and what
absurd judgment we form, in viewing objects through the
falsifying mediums of prejudice and passion. Had you asked me a
few days ago, the picture of Wilson the player, I should have
drawn a portrait very unlike the real person and character of
George Dennison. Without all doubt, the greatest advantage
acquired in travelling and perusing mankind in the original, is
that of dispelling those shameful clouds that darken the
faculties of the mind, preventing it from judging with candour
and precision.
The real Wilson is a great original, and the best tempered,
companionable man I ever knew -- I question if ever he was angry or
low-spirited in his life. He makes no pretensions to letters; but
he is an adept in every thing else that can be either useful or
entertaining. Among other qualifications, he is a complete
sportsman, and counted the best shot in the county. He and
Dennison, and Lismahago and I, attended by Clinker, went a-shooting
yesterday, and made a great havock among the partridges --
To-morrow we shall take the field against the woodcocks and
snipes. In the evening we dance and sing, or play at commerce,
loo, and quadrille.
Mr Dennison is an elegant poet, and has written some detached
pieces on the subject of his passion for Liddy, which must be
very flattering to the vanity of a young woman -- Perhaps he is one
of the greatest theatrical geniuses that ever appeared. He
sometimes entertains us with reciting favourite speeches from our
best plays. We are resolved to convert the great hall into a
theatre, and get up the Beaux Stratagem without delay -- I think I
shall make no contemptible figure in the character of Scrub; and
Lismahago will be very great in Captain Gibbet. Wilson undertakes
to entertain the country people with Harlequin Skeleton, for
which he has got a jacket ready painted with his own hand.
Our society is really enchanting. Even the severity of Lismahago
relaxes, and the vinegar of Mrs Tabby is remarkably dulcified,
ever since it was agreed that she should take precedency of her
niece in being first noosed: for, you must know, the day is fixed
for Liddy's marriage; and the banns for both couples have been
already once published in the parish church. The Captain
earnestly begged that one trouble might serve for all, and
Tabitha assented with a vile affectation of reluctance. Her
inamorato, who came hither very slenderly equipt, has sent for
his baggage to London, which, in all probability, will not arrive
in time for the wedding; but it is of no great consequence, as
every thing is to be transacted with the utmost privacy --
Meanwhile, directions are given for making out the contracts of
marriage, which are very favourable for both females; Liddy will
be secured in a good jointure; and her aunt will remain mistress
of her own fortune, except one half of the interest, which her
husband shall have a right to enjoy for his natural life: I think
this is as little in conscience as can be done for a man who
yokes with such a partner for life.
These expectants seem to be so happy, that if Mr Dennison had an
agreeable daughter, I believe I should be for making the third
couple in this country dance. The humour seems to be infectious;
for Clinker, alias Loyd, has a month's mind to play the fool, in
the same fashion, with Mrs Winifred Jenkins. He has even sounded
me on the subject; but I have given him no encouragement to
prosecute this scheme -- I told him I thought he might do better,
as there was no engagement nor promise subsisting; that I did not
know what designs my uncle might have formed for his advantage;
but I was of opinion, that he should not, at present, run the
risque of disobliging him by any premature application of this
nature -- Honest Humphry protested he would suffer death sooner
than do or say any thing that should give offence to the 'squire:
but he
owned he had a kindness for the young woman, and had reason to
think she looked upon him with a favourable eye; that he
considered this mutual manifestation of good will, as an
engagement understood, which ought to be binding to the
conscience of an honest man; and he hoped the 'squire and I would
be of the same opinion, when we should be at leisure to bestow
any thought about the matter -- I believe he is in the right; and
we shall find time to take his case into consideration -- You see
we are fixed for some weeks at least, and as you have had a long
respite, I hope you will begin immediately to discharge the
arrears due to
Your affectionate,
J. MELFORD
Oct. 14.
To Miss LAETITIA WILLIS, at Gloucester.
MY DEAR, DEAR LETTY,
Never did I sit down to write in such agitation as I now feel -- In
the course of a few days, we have met with a number of incidents
so wonderful and interesting, that all my ideas are thrown into
confusion and perplexity -- You must not expect either method or
coherence in what I am going to relate -- my dearest Willis. Since
my last, the aspect of affairs is totally changed! -- and so
changed! but I would fain give you a regular detail -- In passing a
river about eight days ago, our coach was overturned, and some of
us narrowly escaped with life -- My uncle had well nigh perished. O
Heaven, I cannot reflect upon that circumstance without horror -- I
should have lost my best friend, my father and protector, but for
the resolution and activity of his servant Humphry Clinker, whom
Providence really seems to have placed near him for the necessity
of this occasion. -- I would not be thought superstitious; but
surely he acted from a stronger impulse than common fidelity. Was
it not the voice of nature that loudly called upon him to save
the life of his own father? for, 0 Letty, it was discovered that
Humphry Clinker was my uncle's natural son.
Almost at the same instant, a gentleman, who came to offer us his
assistance, and invite us to his house, turned out to be a very
old friend of Mr Bramble. -- His name is Mr Dennison, one of the
worthiest men living; and his lady is a perfect saint upon earth.
They have an only son -- who do you think is this only son? -- O
Letty! -- O gracious heaven! how my heart palpitates, when I tell
you that this only son of Mr Dennison's, is that very identical
youth who, under the name of Wilson, has made such ravage in my
heart! -- Yes, my dear friend! Wilson and I are now lodged in the
same house, and converse together freely -- His father approves of
his sentiments in my favour; his mother loves me with all the
tenderness of a parent; my uncle, my aunt and my brother, no
longer oppose my inclinations -- On the contrary, they have agreed
to make us happy without delay; and in three weeks or a month, if
no unforeseen accident intervenes, your friend Lydia Melford,
will have changed her name and condition -- I say, if no accident
intervenes, because such a torrent of success makes me tremble! -- I
wish there may not be something treacherous in this sudden
reconciliation of fortune -- I have no merit -- I have no title to
such felicity. Far from enjoying the prospect that lies before
me, my mind is harrassed with a continued tumult, made up of
hopes and wishes, doubts and apprehensions -- I can neither eat nor
sleep, and my spirits are in perpetual flutter. -- I more than ever
feel that vacancy in my heart, which your presence alone can
fill. -- The mind, in every disquiet, seeks to repose itself on the
bosom of a friend; and this is such a trial as I really know not
how to support without your company and counsel -- I must,
therefore, dear Letty, put your friendship to the test -- I must
beg you will come and do the last offices of maidenhood to your
companion Lydia Melford.
This letter goes inclosed in one to our worthy governess, from
Mrs Dennison, entreating her to interpose with your mamma, that
you may be allowed to favour us with your company on this
occasion; and I flatter myself that no material objection can be
made to our request. The distance from hence to Gloucester, does
not exceed one hundred miles, and the roads are good. -- Mr
Clinker, alias Loyd, shall be sent over to attend your motions --
If you step into the post-chaise, with your maid Betty Barker, at
seven in the morning, you will arrive by four in the afternoon at
the half-way house, where there is good accommodation. There you
shall be met by my brother and myself, who will next day
conduct you to this place, where, I am sure, you will find
yourself perfectly at your case in the midst of an agreeable
society. -- Dear Letty, I will take no refusal -- if you have any
friendship -- any humanity -- you will come. -- I desire that immediate
application may be made to your mamma; and that the moment her
permission is obtained, you will apprise
Your ever faithful,
LYDIA MELFORD
Oct. 14.
To Mrs JERMYN, at her house in Gloucester.
DEAR MADAM,
Though I was not so fortunate as to be favoured with an answer to
the letter with which I troubled you in the spring, I still
flatter myself that you retain some regard for me and my
concerns. I am sure the care and tenderness with which I was
treated, under your roof and tuition, demand the warmest returns
of gratitude and affection on my part, and these sentiments, I
hope, I shall cherish to my dying day -- At present, I think it my
duty to make you acquainted with the happy issue of that
indiscretion by which I incurred your displeasure. - Ah! madam, the
slighted Wilson is metamorphosed into George Dennison, only son
and heir of a gentleman, whose character is second to none in
England, as you may understand upon inquiry. My guardian, my
brother and I, are now in his house; and an immediate union of
the two families is to take place in the persons of the young
gentleman and your poor Lydia Melford. -- You will easily conceive
how embarrassing this situation must be to a young inexperienced
creature like me, of weak nerves and strong apprehensions; and
how much the presence of a friend and confidant would encourage
and support me on this occasion. You know, that of all the young
ladies, Miss Willis was she that possessed the greatest share of
my confidence and affection; and, therefore, I fervently wish to
have the happiness of her company at this interesting crisis.
Mrs Dennison, who is the object of universal love and esteem,
has, at my request, written to you on this subject, and I now beg
leave to reinforce her sollicitations. -- My dear Mrs Jermyn! my
ever honoured governess! let me conjure you by that fondness
which once distinguished your favourite Lydia! by that
benevolence of heart, which disposes you to promote the happiness
of your fellow-creatures in general! lend a favourable ear to my
petition, and use your influence with Letty's mamma, that my most
earnest desire may be gratified. Should I be indulged in this
particular, I will engage to return her safe, and even to
accompany her to Gloucester, where, if you will give me leave, I
will present to you, under another name,
Dear Madam,
Your most affectionate
Humble servant,
And penitent,
LYDIA MELFORD
Oct. 14.
To Mrs MARY JONES, at Brambleton-hall.
O MARY JONES! MARY JONES!
I have met with so many axidents, suprisals, and terrifications,
that I am in a pafeck fantigo, and I believe I shall never be my
own self again. Last week I was dragged out of a river like a
drowned rat, and lost a bran-new night-cap, with a sulfer
stayhook, that cost me a good half-a-crown, and an odd shoe of
green gallow monkey; besides wetting my cloaths and taring my
smuck, and an ugly gash made in the back part of my thy, by the
stump of a tree -- To be sure Mr Clinker tuck me out of the cox;
but he left me on my back in the water, to go to the 'squire; and
I mought have had a watry grave, if a millar had not brought me
to the dry land -- But, O! what choppings and changes girl -- The
player man that came after Miss Liddy, and frightened me with a
beard at Bristol Well, is now matthew-murphy'd into a fine young
gentleman, son and hare of 'squire Dollison -- We are all together
in the same house, and all parties have agreed to the match, and
in a fortnite the surrymony will be performed.
But this is not the only wedding we are to have -- Mistriss is
resolved to have the same frolick, in the naam of God! Last
Sunday in the parish crutch, if my own ars may be trusted, the
clerk called the banes of marridge betwixt Opaniah Lashmeheygo,
and Tapitha Brample, spinster; he mought as well have called her
inkle-weaver, for she never spun and hank of yarn in her life --
Young 'squire Dollison and Miss Liddy make the second kipple; and
there might have been a turd, but times are changed with Mr
Clinker -- O Molly! what do'st think? Mr Clinker is found to be a
pye-blow of our own 'squire, and his rite naam is Mr Matthew Loyd
(thof God he nose how that can be); and he is now out of livery,
and wares ruffles -- but I new him when he was out at elbows, and
had not a rag to kiver his pistereroes; so he need not hold his
head so high -- He is for sartin very umble and compleasant, and
purtests as how he has the same regard as before; but that he is
no longer his own master, and cannot portend to marry without the
'squire's consent -- He says he must wait with patience, and trust
to Providence, and such nonsense -- But if so be as how his regard
be the same, why stand shilly shally? Why not strike while the
iron is hot, and speak to the 'squire without loss of time? What
subjection can the 'squire make to our coming together -- Thof my
father wan't a gentleman, my mother was an honest woman -- I didn't
come on the wrong side of the blanket, girl -- My parents were
marred according to the right of holy mother crutch, in the face
of men and angles -- Mark that, Mary Jones.
Mr Clinker (Loyd I would say) had best look to his tackle. There
be other chaps in the market, as the saying is -- What would he say
if I should except the soot and sarvice of the young squire's
valley? Mr Machappy is a gentleman born, and has been abroad in
the wars -- He has a world of buck larning, and speaks French, and
Ditch, and Scotch, and all manner of outlandish lingos; to be
sure he's a little the worse for the ware, and is much given to
drink; but then he's good-tempered in his liquor, and a prudent
woman mought wind him about her finger -- But I have no thoughts of
him, I'll assure you -- I scorn for to do, or to say, or to think
any thing that mought give unbreech to Mr Loyd, without furder
occasion -- But then I have such vapours, Molly I sit and cry by
myself, and take ass of etida, and smill to burnt fathers, and
kindal-snuffs; and I pray constantly for grease, that I may have
a glimpse of the new-light, to shew me the way through this
wretched veil of tares. And yet, I want for nothing in this family
of love, where every sole is so kind and so courteous, that wan
would think they are so many saints in haven. Dear Molly, I
recommend myself to your prayers, being, with my sarvice to Saul,
your ever loving,
and discounselled friend,
WIN. JENKINS
Oct. 14.
To Dr LEWIS.
DEAR DICK,
You cannot imagine what pleasure I have in seeing your hand-writing,
after such a long cessation on your side of our
correspondence -- Yet, Heaven knows, I have often seen your
hand-writing with disgust -- I mean, when it appeared in abbreviations
of apothecary's Latin -- I like your hint of making interest for
the reversion of the collector's place, for Mr Lismahago, who is
much pleased with the scheme, and presents you with his
compliments and best thanks for thinking so kindly of his
concerns -- The man seems to mend, upon further acquaintance. That
harsh reserve, which formed a disagreeable husk about his
character, begins to peel off in the course of our communication --
I have great hopes that he and Tabby will be as happily paired
as any two draught animals in the kingdom; and I make no doubt
but that he will prove a valuable acquisition to our little
society, in the article of conversation, by the fire-side in
winter.
Your objection to my passing this season of the year at such a
distance from home, would have more weight if I did not find
myself perfectly at my ease where I am; and my health so much
improved, that I am disposed to bid defiance to gout and
rheumatism -- I begin to think I have put myself on the
superannuated list too soon, and absurdly sought for health in
the retreats of laziness -- I am persuaded that all valetudinarians
are too sedentary, too regular, and too cautious -- We should
sometimes increase the motion of the machine, to unclog the
wheels of life; and now and then take a plunge amidst the waves
of excess, in order to caseharden the constitution. I have even
found a change of company
as necessary as a change of air, to promote a vigorous
circulation of the spirits, which is the very essence and
criterion of good health.
Since my last, I have been performing the duties of friendship,
that required a great deal of exercise, from which I hope to
derive some benefit -- Understanding, by the greatest accident in
the world, that Mr Baynard's wife was dangerously ill of a
pleuritic fever, I borrowed Dennison's post-chaise, and went
across the country to his habitation, attended only by Loyd
(quondam Clinker) on horseback. -- As the distance is not above
thirty miles, I arrived about four in the afternoon, and meeting
the physician at the door, was informed that his patient had just
expired. -- I was instantly seized with a violent emotion, but it
was not grief. -- The family being in confusion, I ran up stairs
into the chamber, where, indeed, they were all assembled. -- The
aunt stood wringing her hands in a kind of stupefaction of
sorrow, but my friend acted all the extravagancies of affliction --
He held the body in his arms, and poured forth such a
lamentation, that one would have thought he had lost the most
amiable consort and valuable companion upon earth.
Affection may certainly exist independent of esteem; nay, the
same object may be lovely in one respect, and detestable in
another -- The mind has a surprising faculty of accommodating, and
even attaching itself, in such a manner, by dint of use, to
things that are in their own nature disagreeable, and even
pernicious, that it cannot bear to be delivered from them without
reluctance and regret. Baynard was so absorbed in his delirium,
that he did not perceive me when I entered, and desired one of
the women to conduct the aunt into her own chamber. -- At the same
time I begged the tutor to withdraw the boy, who stood gaping in
a corner, very little affected with the distress of the scene. --
These steps being taken, I waited till the first violence of my
friend's transport was abated, then disengaged him gently from
the melancholy object, and led him by the hand into another
apartment; though he struggled so hard, that I was obliged to
have recourse to the assistance of his valet de chambre -- In a few
minutes, however, he recollected himself, and folding me in his
arms, 'This (cried he), is a friendly office, indeed! -- I know not
how you came hither; but, I think, Heaven sent you to prevent my
going distracted -- O Matthew! I have lost my dear Harriet! -- my
poor, gentle, tender creature, that loved me with such warmth and
purity of affection -- my constant companion of twenty years! She's
gone -- she's gone for ever! -- Heaven and earth! where is she? --
Death shall not part us!'
So saying, he started up, and could hardly be with-held from
returning to the scene we had quitted -- You will perceive it would
have been very absurd for me to argue with a man that talked so
madly. -- On all such occasions, the first torrent of passion must
be allowed to subside gradually. -- I endeavoured to beguile his
attention by starting little hints and insinuating other objects
of discourse imperceptibly; and being exceedingly pleased in my
own mind at this event, I exerted myself with such an
extraordinary flow of spirits as was attended with success. -- In a
few hours, he was calm enough to hear reason, and even to own
that Heaven could not have interposed more effectually to rescue
him from disgrace and ruin. -- That he might not, however, relapse
into weaknesses for want of company, I passed the night in his
chamber, in a little tent bed brought thither on purpose; and
well it was I took this precaution, for he started up in bed
several times, and would have played the fool, if I had not been
present.
Next day he was in a condition to talk of business, and vested me
with full authority over his household, which I began to exercise
without loss of time, tho' not before he knew and approved of the
scheme I had projected for his advantage. -- He would have quitted
the house immediately; but this retreat I opposed. -- Far from
encouraging a temporary disgust, which might degenerate into an
habitual aversion, I resolved, if possible, to attach him more
than ever to his Houshold Gods. -- I gave directions for the
funeral to be as private as was consistant with decency; I wrote
to London, that an inventory and estimate might be made of the
furniture and effects in his town-house, and gave notice to the
landlord, that Mr Baynard should quit the premises at Lady-day; I
set a person at work to take account of every thing in the
country-house, including horses, carriages, and harness; I
settled the young gentleman at a boarding-school, kept by a
clergyman in the neighbourhood, and thither he went without
reluctance, as soon as he knew that he was to be troubled no more
with his tutor, whom we dismissed. The aunt continued very
sullen, and never appeared at table, though Mr Baynard payed his
respects to her every day in her own chamber; there also she held
conferences with the waiting-women and other servants of the
family: but, the moment her niece was interred, she went away in
a post-chaise prepared for that purpose: she did not leave the
house, however, without giving Mr Baynard to understand, that the
wardrobe of her niece was the perquisite of her woman;
accordingly that worthless drab received all the clothes, laces,
and linen of her deceased mistress, to the value of five hundred
pounds, at a moderate computation.
The next step I took was to disband that legion of supernumerary
domestics, who had preyed so long upon the vitals of my friend:,
a parcel of idle drones, so intolerably insolent, that they even
treated their own master with the most contemptuous neglect. They
had been generally hired by his wife, according to the
recommendation of her woman, and these were the only patrons to
whom they payed the least deference. I had therefore uncommon
satisfaction in clearing the house of these vermin. The woman of
the deceased, and a chambermaid, a valet de chambre, a butler, a
French cook, a master gardener, two footmen and a coachman, I
payed off, and turned out of the house immediately, paying to
each a month's wages in lieu of warning. Those whom I retained,
consisted of the female cook, who had been assistant to the
Frenchman, a house maid, an old lacquey, a postilion, and
under-gardener. Thus I removed at once a huge mountain of expence and
care from the shoulders of my friend, who could hardly believe
the evidence of his own senses, when he found himself so suddenly
and so effectually relieved. His heart, however, was still
subject to vibrations of tenderness, which returned at certain
intervals, extorting sighs, and tears, and exclamations of grief
and impatience: but these fits grew every day less violent and
less frequent, 'till at length his reason obtained a complete
victory over the infirmities of his nature.
Upon an accurate enquiry into the state of his affairs, I find
his debts amount to twenty thousand pounds, for eighteen thousand
pounds of which sum his estate is mortgaged; and as he pays five
per cent. interest, and some of his farms are unoccupied, he does
not receive above two hundred pounds a year clear from his lands,
over and above the interest of his wife's fortune, which produced
eight hundred pounds annually. For lightening this heavy burthen,
I devised the following expedient. His wife's jewels, together
with his superfluous plate and furniture in both houses, his
horses and carriages, which are already advertised to be sold by
auction, will, according to the estimate, produce two thousand
five hundred pounds in ready money, with which the debt will be
immediately reduced to eighteen thousand pounds -- I have
undertaken to find him ten thousand pounds at four per cent. by
which means he will save one hundred a-year in the article of
interest, and perhaps we shall be able to borrow the other eight
thousand on the same terms. According to his own scheme of a
country life, he says he can live comfortably for three hundred
pounds a-year; but, as he has a son to educate, we will allow him
five hundred; then there will be an accumulating fund of seven
hundred a-year, principal and interest, to pay off the
incumbrance; and, I think, we may modestly add three hundred, on
the presumption of new-leasing and improving the vacant farms: so
that, in a couple of years, I suppose there will be above a
thousand a-year appropriated to liquidate a debt of sixteen
thousand.
We forthwith began to class and set apart the articles designed
for sale, under the direction of an upholder from London; and,
that nobody in the house might be idle, commenced our reformation
without doors, as well as within. With Baynard's good leave, I
ordered the gardener to turn the rivulet into its old channel, to
refresh the fainting Naiads, who had so long languished among
mouldring roots, withered leaves, and dry pebbles -- The shrubbery
is condemned to extirpation; and the pleasure ground will be
restored to its original use of corn-field and pasture -- Orders
are given for rebuilding the walls of the garden at the back of
the house, and for planting clumps of firs, intermingled with
beech and chestnut, at the east end, which is now quite exposed
to the surly blasts that come from that quarter. All these works
being actually begun, and the house and auction left to the care
and management of a reputable attorney, I brought Baynard along
with me in the chaise, and made him acquainted with Dennison,
whose goodness of heart would not fail to engage his esteem and
affection. -- He is indeed charmed with our society in general, and
declares that he never saw the theory of true pleasure reduced to
practice before. I really believe it would not be an easy task to
find such a number of individuals assembled under one roof, more
happy than we are at present.
I must tell you, however, in confidence, I suspect Tabby of
tergiversation. -- I have been so long accustomed to that original,
that I know all the caprices of her heart, and can often perceive
her designs while they are yet in embrio -- She attached herself to
Lismahago for no other reason but that she despaired of making a
more agreeable conquest. At present, if I am not much mistaken in
my observation, she would gladly convert the widowhood of Baynard
to her own advantage. -- Since he arrived, she has behaved very
coldly to the captain, and strove to fasten on the other's heart,
with the hooks of overstrained civility. These must be the
instinctive efforts of her constitution, rather than the effects
of any deliberate design; for matters are carried to such a
length with the lieutenant, that she could not retract with any
regard to conscience or reputation. Besides, she will meet with
nothing but indifference or aversion on the side of Baynard, who
has too much sense to think of such a partner at any time, and
too much delicacy to admit a thought of any such connexion at the
present juncture -- Meanwhile, I have prevailed upon her to let him
have four thousand pounds at four per cent towards paying off his
mortage. Young Dennison has agreed that Liddy's fortune shall be
appropriated to the same purpose, on the same terms. -- His father
will sell out three thousand pounds stock for his accommodation. --
Farmer Bland has, at the desire of Wilson, undertaken for two
thousand; and I must make an effort to advance what further will
be required to take my friend out of the hands of the
Philistines. He is so pleased with the improvements made on his
estate, which is all cultivated like a garden, that he has
entered himself as a pupil in farming to Mr Dennison, and
resolved to attach himself wholly to the practice of husbandry.
Every thing is now prepared for our double wedding. The
marriage-articles for both couples are drawn and executed; and the
ceremony only waits until the parties shall have been resident in
the parish the term prescribed by law. Young Dennison betrays
some symptoms of impatience; but, Lismahago bears this necessary
delay with the temper of a philosopher. -- You must know, the
captain does not stand altogether on the foundation of personal
merit. Besides his half-pay, amounting to two and forty pounds a
year, this indefatigable oeconomist has amassed eight hundred
pounds, which he has secured in the funds. This sum arises partly
from his pay's running up while he remained among the Indians;
partly from what he received as a consideration for the
difference between his full appointment and the half-pay, to
which he is now restricted; and partly from the profits of a
little traffick he drove in peltry, during his sachemship among
the Miamis.
Liddy's fears and perplexities have been much assuaged by the
company of one Miss Willis, who had been her intimate companion
at the boarding-school. Her parents had been earnestly sollicited
to allow her making this friendly visit on such an extraordinary
occasion; and two days ago she arrived with her mother, who did
not chuse that she should come without a proper gouvernante. The
young lady is very sprightly, handsome, and agreeable, and the
mother a mighty good sort of a woman; so that their coming adds
considerably to our enjoyment. But we shall have a third couple
yoked in the matrimonial chain. Mr Clinker Loyd has made humble
remonstrance through the canal of my nephew, setting forth the
sincere love and affection mutually subsisting between him and
Mrs Winifred Jenkins, and praying my consent to their coming
together for life. I would have wished that Mr Clinker had kept
out of this scrape; but as the nymph's happiness is at stake, and
she has already some fits in the way of despondence, I, in order
to prevent any tragical catastrophe, have given him leave to play
the fool, in imitation of his betters; and I suppose we shall in
time have a whole litter of his progeny at Brambleton-hall. The
fellow is stout and lusty, very sober and conscientious; and the
wench seems to be as great an enthusiast in love as in religion.
I wish you would think of employing him some other way, that the
parish may not be overstocked -- you know he has been bred a
farrier, consequently belongs to the faculty; and as he is very
docile, I make no doubt but, with your good instruction, he may
be, in a little time, qualified to act as a Welch apothecary.
Tabby, who never did a favour with a good grace, has consented,
with great reluctance, to this match. Perhaps it hurts her pride,
as she now considers Clinker in the light of a relation; but, I
believe, her objections are of a more selfish nature. She
declares she cannot think of retaining the wife of Matthew Loyd
in the character of a servant; and she foresees, that on such an
occasion the woman will expect some gratification for her past
services. As for Clinker, exclusive of other considerations, he
is so trusty, brave, affectionate, and alert, and I owe him such
personal obligations, that he merits more than all the indulgence
that can possibly be shewn him, by
Yours,
MATT. BRAMBLE
Oct. 26.
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. at Oxon.
DEAR KNIGHT,
The fatal knots are now tied. The comedy is near a close; and the
curtain is ready to drop: but, the latter scenes of this act I
shall recapitulate in order -- About a fortnight ago, my uncle made
an excursion across the country, and brought hither a particular
friend, one Mr Baynard, who has just lost his wife, and was for
some time disconsolate, though by all accounts he had much more
cause for joy than for sorrow at this event. -- His countenance,
however, clears up apace; and he appears to be a person of rare
accomplishments. -- But, we have received another still more
agreeable reinforcement to our company, by the arrival of Miss
Willis from Gloucester. She was Liddy's bosom friend at the
boarding-school, and being earnestly sollicited to assist at the
nuptials, her mother was so obliging as to grant my sister's
request, and even to come with her in person. Liddy, accompanied
by George Dennison and me, gave them the meeting halfway, and
next day conducted them hither in safety. Miss Willis is a
charming girl, and, in point of disposition, an agreeable
contrast to my sister, who is rather too grave and sentimental
for my turn of mind. The other is gay, frank, a little giddy, and
always good-humoured. She has, moreover, a genteel fortune, is
well born, and remarkably handsome. Ah Phillips! if these
qualities were permanent -- if her humour would never change, nor
her beauties decay, what efforts would I not make -- But these are
idle reflections -- my destiny must one day be fulfilled.
At present we pass the time as agreeably as we can. -- We have got
up several farces, which afforded unspeakable entertainment by
the effects they produced among the country people, who are
admitted to all our exhibitions. -- Two nights ago, Jack Wilson
acquired great applause in Harlequin Skeleton, and Lismahago
surprised us all in the character of Pierot. -- His long lank
sides, and strong marked features, were all peculiarly adapted to
his part. -- He appeared with a ludicrous stare, from which he had
discharged all meaning: he adopted the impressions of fear and
amazement so naturally, that many of the audience were infected
by his looks; but when the skeleton held him in chace his horror
became most divertingly picturesque, and seemed to endow him with
such praeternatural agility as confounded all the spectators. It
was a lively representation of Death in pursuit of Consumption,
and had such an effect upon the commonalty, that some of them
shrieked aloud, and others ran out of the hall in the utmost
consternation.
This is not the only instance in which the lieutenant has lately
excited our wonder. His temper, which had been soured and
shrivelled by disappointment and chagrin, is now swelled out, and
smoothed like a raisin in plumb-porridge. From being reserved and
punctilious, he is become easy and obliging. He cracks jokes,
laughs and banters, with the most facetious familiarity; and, in
a word, enters into all our schemes of merriment and pastime -- The
other day his baggage arrived in the waggon from London,
contained in two large trunks and a long deal box not unlike a
coffin. The trunks were filled with his wardrobe, which he
displayed for the entertainment of the company, and he freely
owned, that it consisted chiefly of the opima spolia taken in
battle. What he selected for his wedding suit, was a tarnished
white cloth faced with blue velvet, embroidered with silver; but,
he valued himself most upon a tye-periwig, in which he had made
his first appearance as a lawyer above thirty years ago. This
machine had been in buckle ever since, and now all the servants
in the family were employed to frizz it out for the occasion,
which was yesterday celebrated at the parish church. George
Dennison and his bride were distinguished by nothing
extraordinary in their apparel. His eyes lightened with eagerness
and joy, and she trembled with coyness and confusion. My uncle
gave her away, and her friend Willis supported her during the
ceremony.
But my aunt and her paramour took the pas, and formed, indeed,
such a pair of originals, as, I believe all England could not
parallel. She was dressed in the stile of 1739; and the day being
cold, put on a manteel of green velvet laced with gold: but this
was taken off by the bridegroom, who threw over her shoulders a
fur cloak of American sables, valued at fourscore guineas, a
present equally agreeable and unexpected. Thus accoutred, she was
led up to the altar by Mr Dennison, who did the office of her
father: Lismahago advanced in the military step with his French
coat reaching no farther than the middle of his thigh, his
campaign wig that surpasses all description, and a languishing
leer upon his countenance, in which there seemed to be something
arch and ironical. The ring, which he put upon her finger, he had
concealed till the moment it was used. He now produced it with an
air of self-complacency. It was a curious antique, set with rose
diamonds: he told us afterwards, it had been in the family two
hundred years and was a present from his grand-mother. These
circumstances agreeably flattered the pride of our aunt Tabitha,
which had already found uncommon gratification in the captain's
generosity; for he had, in the morning, presented my uncle with a
fine bear's skin, and a Spanish fowling-piece, and me with a case
of pistols curiously mounted with silver. At the same time he
gave Mrs Jenkins an Indian purse, made of silk grass, containing
twenty crown pieces. You must know, this young lady, with the
assistance of Mr Loyd, formed the third couple who yesterday
sacrificed to Hymen. I wrote to you in my last, that he had
recourse to my mediation, which I employed successfully with my
uncle; but Mrs Tabitha held out 'till the love-sick Jenkins had
two fits of the mother; then she relented, and those two cooing
turtles were caged for life -- Our aunt made an effort of
generosity in furnishing the bride with her superfluities of
clothes and linen, and her example was followed by my sister;
nor did Mr Bramble and I neglect her on this occasion. It was,
indeed, a day of peace-offering. -- Mr Dennison insisted upon
Liddy's accepting two bank notes of one hundred pounds each, as
pocket-money; and his lady gave her a diamond necklace of double
that value. There was, besides, a mutual exchange of tokens among
the individuals of the two families thus happily united.
As George Dennison and his partner were judged improper objects
of mirth, Jack Wilson had resolved to execute some jokes on
Lismahago, and after supper began to ply him with bumpers, when
the ladies had retired; but the captain perceiving his drift,
begged for quarter, alledging that the adventure, in which he had
engaged, was a very serious matter; and that it would be more the
part of a good Christian to pray that he might be strengthened,
than to impede his endeavours to finish the adventure. -- He was
spared accordingly, and permitted to ascend the nuptial couch
with all his senses about him. -- There he and his consort sat in
state, like Saturn and Cybele, while the benediction posset was
drank; and a cake being broken over the head of Mrs Tabitha
Lismahago, the fragments were distributed among the bystanders,
according to the custom of the antient Britons, on the
supposition that every person who eat of this hallowed cake,
should that night have a vision of the man or woman whom Heaven
designed should be his or her wedded mate.
The weight of Wilson's waggery fell upon honest Humphry and his
spouse, who were bedded in an upper room, with the usual ceremony
of throwing the stocking. -- This being performed, and the company
withdrawn, a sort of catterwauling ensued, when Jack found means
to introduce a real cat shod with walnut-shells, which galloping
along the boards, made such a dreadful noise as effectually
discomposed our lovers. -- Winifred screamed aloud, and shrunk
under the bed-cloaths -- Mr Loyd, believing that Satan was come to
buffet him in propria persona, laid aside all carnal thoughts,
and began to pray aloud with great fervency. -- At length, the poor
animal, being more afraid than either, leaped into the bed, and
meauled with the most piteous exclamation. -- Loyd, thus informed
of the nature of the annoyance, rose and set the door wide open,
so that this troublesome visitant retreated with great
expedition; then securing himself, by means of a double bolt,
from a second intrusion, he was left to enjoy his good fortune
without further disturbance.
If one may judge from the looks of the parties, they are all very
well satisfied with what has passed -- George Dennison and his wife
are too delicate to exhibit any strong marked signs of their
mutual satisfaction, but their eyes are sufficiently expressive --
Mrs Tabitha Lismahago is rather fulsome in signifying her
approbation of the captain's love; while his deportment is the
very pink of gallantry. -- He sighs, and ogles, and languishes at
this amiable object; he kisses her hand, mutters ejaculations of
rapture, and sings tender airs; and, no doubt, laughs internally
at her folly in believing him sincere. -- In order to shew how
little his vigour was impaired by the fatigues of the preceding
day, he this morning danced a Highland sarabrand over a naked
back-sword, and leaped so high, that I believe he would make no
contemptible figure as a vaulter at Sadler's Wells. -- Mr Matthew
Loyd, when asked how he relished his bargain, throws up his eyes,
crying, 'For what we have received, Lord make us thankful:
amen.' -- His helpmate giggles, and holds her hand before her eyes,
affecting to be ashamed of having been in bed with a man. -- Thus
all these widgeons enjoy the novelty of their situation; but,
perhaps their notes will be changed, when they are better
acquainted with the nature of the decoy.
As Mrs Willis cannot be persuaded to stay, and Liddy is engaged
by promise to accompany her daughter back to Gloucester, I fancy
there will be a general migration from hence, and that most of us
will spend the Christmas holidays at Bath; in which case, I shall
certainly find an opportunity to beat up your quarters. -- By this
time, I suppose, you are sick of alma mater, and even ready to
execute that scheme of peregrination, which was last year
concerted between you and
Your affectionate
J. MELFORD
Nov. 8.
To Dr LEWIS.
DEAR DOCTOR,
My niece Liddy is now happily settled for life; and captain
Lismahago has taken Tabby off my hands; so that I have nothing
further to do, but to comfort my friend Baynard, and provide for
my son Loyd, who is also fairly joined to Mrs Winifred Jenkins.
You are an excellent genius at hints. -- Dr Arbuthnot was but a
type of Dr Lewis in that respect. What you observe of the vestry-clerk
deserves consideration. -- I make no doubt but Matthew Loyd
is well enough qualified for the office; but, at present, you
must find room for him in the house. -- His incorruptible honesty
and indefatigable care will be serviceable in superintending the
oeconomy of my farm; tho' I don't mean that he shall interfere
with Barns, of whom I have no cause to complain. -- I am just
returned with Baynard, from a second trip to his house, where
every thing is regulated to his satisfaction. -- He could not,
however, review the apartments without tears and lamentation, so
that he is not yet in a condition to be left alone; therefore I
will not part with him till the spring, when he intends to plunge
into the avocations of husbandry, which will at once employ and
amuse his attention. -- Charles Dennison has promised to stay with
him a fortnight, to set him fairly afloat in his improvements;
and Jack Wilson will see him from time to time; besides, he has a
few friends in the country, whom his new plan of life will not
exclude from his society. -- In less than a year, I make no doubt,
but he will find himself perfectly at ease both in his mind and
body, for the one had dangerously affected the other; and I shall
enjoy the exquisite pleasure of seeing my friend rescued from
misery and contempt.
Mrs Willis being determined to return with her daughter, in a few
days, to Gloucester, our plan has undergone some alteration. Jery
has persuaded his brother-in-law to carry his wife to Bath; and I
believe his parents will accompany him thither. -- For my part, I
have no intention to take that route. -- It must be something very
extraordinary that will induce me to revisit either Bath or
London. -- My sister and her husband, Baynard and I, will take
leave of them at Gloucester, and make the best of our way to
Brambleton hall, where I desire you will prepare a good chine and
turkey for our Christmas dinner. -- You must also employ your
medical skill in defending me from the attacks of the gout, that
I may be in good case to receive the rest of our company, who
promise to visit us in their return from the Bath. -- As I have
laid in a considerable stock of health, it is to be hoped you
will not have much trouble with me in the way of physic, but I
intend to work you on the side of exercise. -- I have got an
excellent fowling-piece from Mr Lismahago, who is a keen
sportsman, and we shall take the heath in all weathers. -- That
this scheme of life may be prosecuted the more effectually, I
intend to renounce all sedentary amusements, particularly that of
writing long letters; a resolution, which, had I taken it sooner,
might have saved you the trouble which you have lately taken in
reading the tedious epistles of
MATT. BRAMBLE
NOV. 20.
To Mrs GWYLLIM, at Brambleton-hall.
GOOD MRS GWYLLIM,
Heaven, for wise porpuses, hath ordained that I should change my
name and citation in life, so that I am not to be considered any
more as manager of my brother's family; but as I cannot surrender
up my stewardship till I have settled with you and Williams, I
desire you will get your accunts ready for inspection, as we are
coming home without further delay. -- My spouse, the captain, being
subject to rummaticks, I beg you will take great care to have the
blew chamber, up two pair of stairs, well warmed for his
reception. -- Let the sashes be secured, the crevices stopt, the
carpets laid, and the beds well tousled. -- Mrs Loyd, late Jenkins,
being married to a relation of the family, cannot remain in the
capacity of a sarvant; therefore, I wish you would cast about for
some creditable body to be with me in her room -- If she can spin,
and is mistress of plain-work, so much the better -- but she must
not expect extravagant wages -- having a family of my own, I must
be more occumenical than ever. No more at present, but rests
Your loving friend,
TAB. LISMAHAGO
NOV. 20.
To Mrs MARY JONES, at Brambleton-hall.
MRS JONES,
Providinch hath bin pleased to make great halteration in the
pasture of our affairs. -- We were yesterday three kiple chined, by
the grease of God, in the holy bands of mattermoney, and I now
subscrive myself Loyd at your sarvice. -- All the parish allowed
that young 'squire Dallison and his bride was a comely pear for
to see. -- As for madam Lashtniheygo, you nose her picklearities --
her head, to be sure, was fintastical; and her spouse had rapt
her with a long marokin furze cloak from the land of the
selvidges, thof they say it is of immense bally. -- The captain
himself had a huge hassock of air, with three tails, and a tum-
tawdry coat, boddered with sulfur. -- Wan said he was a monkey-bank;
and the ould bottler swore he was the born imich of
Titidall. -- For my part, I says nothing, being as how the captain
has done the handsome thing by me. -- Mr Loyd was dressed in a lite
frog, and checket with gould binding; and thof he don't enter in
caparison with great folks of quality, yet he has got as good
blood in his veins as arrow privat 'squire in the county; and
then his pursing is far from contentible. -- Your humble sarvant
had on a plain pea-green tabby sack, with my Runnela cap, ruff
toupee, and side curls. -- They said, I was the very moral of lady
Rickmanstone, but not so pale -- that may well be, for her ladyship
is my elder by seven good years and more. -- Now, Mrs Mary, our
satiety is to suppurate -- Mr Millfart goes to Bath along with the
Dallisons, and the rest of us push home to Wales, to pass our
Chrishmarsh at Brampleton-hall -- As our apartments is to be the
yallow pepper, in the thurd story, pray carry my things thither. --
Present my cumpliments to Mrs Gwyllim, and I hope she and I will
live upon dissent terms of civility. -- Being, by God's blessing,
removed to a higher spear, you'll excuse my being familiar with
the lower sarvants of the family; but, as I trust you'll behave
respectful, and keep a proper distance, you may always depend
upon the good will and purtection of
Yours,
W. LOYD
Nov. 20.
FINIS.
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